Life, 1917-09-13 · page 27 of 44
Life — September 13, 1917 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Life* magazine: **"He Wanted to Know the Truth"** mocks doctors who avoid honest diagnoses. A patient demands a physician tell him his actual condition without sugar-coating. The doctor reluctantly lists an absurdly comprehensive catalog of serious ailments (duodenal abscess, high blood pressure, peritoneal cavities, etc.). Rather than being devastated, the patient is grateful—he reveals he's won a "perfect human being" contest prize, confirming doctors' reluctance to deliver bad news is warranted. The satire targets early 20th-century medical practice: physicians' tendency to obscure diagnoses to avoid alarming patients, and the irony that brutal honesty would destroy confidence in medical judgment. **"An Extremist"** is a brief cartoon joke about a corrupt rural police officer willing to release a drunk driver in exchange with a bottle of liquor—satirizing rural law enforcement corruption and bribery. Both pieces reflect Progressive Era skepticism toward professional institutions and authority figures.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE PEARLY GATES HIS IDEA OF IT He Wanted to Know the Truth “TAM going to ask you to do the unusual thing.” The confident stranger thus ad- dressed the great physician who had just examined him. “Doctor,” he continued, “I am well aware of the fact that no physician in these days likes to tell his patients the truth, but rather prefers to gloss over the facts, to conceal one’s real condi- tion. I am going to ask you to make an exception in my case. I want you to tell me exactly what is the matter with me, without fear or favor. I promise that it shall remain a secret. Don't consider my feelings. I am a man of superb courage. I can stand anything.” The doctor hesitated. Such a strange request had never been made to him. “T think you have,” he began some- what cautiously,” an abscess in the duo- denum.” “Go on, sir, don’t mind me. T want to hear the worst. Anything else?” “Your blood pressure is nearly two hundred, which indicates that, that— “Tr’s all right, doctor. Don’t spare “That you have peritoneal cavities, accompanied by a slight diaphragmatic convulsion; the left aorta is rapidly becoming disintegrated, and the patho- logical variations of the thyroid gland, coupled with a possible pelvic carci- noma and varicose formations in the lower metatarsals, all show a phylo- genetic aberration of the intestinal area, which leads me to believe that you may possibly be a sufferer from other remote causes now in a process of evo- lution, or in the path of visible demon- stration.” “Fine! Fine! “The bacteriological variation i corpuscular fields indicates perni aenemia; you also have phthisis, a de- tached stomach, incipient typhoid, smallpox, diphtheria and dropsy.” The stranger got up. His face was suffused with gratitude. Anything more?” “T can't tell you how thankful I am to you for having given me this frank talk,” he said, as he buttoned up his coat. “Wish I could stay longer, but I must hurry back.” “Don’t mention it, sir, I am inter- ested in your case. 1 could— Sorry, doctor, but I have no time to lose. You see, 1 am one of the can- didates for a human-being contest, started by our local exposition, and have just been awarded the first prize of one thousand dollars as the only perfect human being in the entire col- lection, and I was just interested in having you confirm the unanimous opinion of the board of doctors, who, as judges, awarded me the prize.” An Extremist OUNTRY CONSTABLE (to mo- torist): You have evidently been drinking to excess. There is hardly enough left in this bottle to soften my heart sufficiently to release you! comicbooks.com