Life — August 30, 1917 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

O OLISH CONTEMPO ARIES es Archy in Washington boss i am getting more and more on the inside of things here only the other day i rode out to cabin john bridge on the same car with a senator hello senator said the street car conductor hello said the senator is it hot enough for you said the conductor yes and worse than that said the senator and they both laughed So you see 1am getting nearer and nearer to the news sources here —Don Marquis in New York Ex Sun, Pessimists Out at the front two regiments, re- turning to the trenches, chanced to meet. There was the usual exchange of wit. “When's the Bloomin’ war gc end?” asked one north-country ad. “Dunno,” replied one of the south- to shires. “We've planted some datiydils in front of our trench.” “ Bloomin’ optimists!” snorted the man | from the north. “ We've planted acorns.” —Argonaut. sheville, North Carolina LISH INN—Perfect GOLF. “THE MANOR IN AMERICA—AN ENG Geesaxy has yet to discover that all the efficiency in the world won't make a wrong right.—Detroit Free Press. od “ yton HERBERT pos | LONDON i & cicaretres!! import and Export Berdert Tareyton Herbert Tareyton London Smoking Mixture . % Ib. soc.—Sample on request Falk Tobacco Co.. 58 West 45th St, New York —— EGYPTIAN | DEITIES | “The Utmost in Cigarettes Than End or Corky | Bape eure refaenent refrcment p inwanably PREFER Deites to any other agar 25° Dhrngyre Makers of be Bs rth Bile ee Efficiency After many trials and tribulations Mrs. Timson had managed to get a id” of sorts. “Now, Thurza, ful about the water, We only use the well water for drink a man to pump said she, “be care- as we have to he rain water od enough for washing up and so After tea Mrs. Timson asked: “Did you remember about the water, Thurza?” “Oh, yes, mum!" said Thurza, “I filled the kettle half full of water from the butt and the other half with water from the well, I thought the bottom half might as well be getting hot at the same time for washing up after tea.” Argonaut, More Censorship “T wish to see Mr, Jones about “He's a “ Did he leave any address “Yes, sir F Dill collectors it’s “Somewhere in America.’ ” —Boston Transcript. bill.” ay on vacation, si Fixst Svn.: You see that man over there? He did our major out of a cool ten thou’. Secoxv Sue: Cards? Fixst Svv.: No—wouldn’t let the major marry his daughter! —London Opinion. 'T get me all wet!” exclaimed Hero, when Leander attempted to embrace her after swimming the Hel- lespont, but she stopped objecting when Leander told her he had entered her name for a year's subscription to Lart | Everybody Likes a Good | : Mystery Story | THE OTHER BROWN Perhaps the explanation is (1) that any mystery story | resolves itself into a chase after some person or persons who! don’t want to be caught; | (2) that everybody likes a race or a chase; and (3) that the reader of a skilfully told mystery story takes exciting part, though an imaginative part, in the chase and capture. And when a charming love interest is also added— One of the best new mystery stories, with a fascinating love | story involved, is | by Adele Luehrmann All bookstores. Illustrated. $1.35. Published by THE CENTURY CO., New York