Life, 1917-07-12 · page 30 of 40
Life — July 12, 1917 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking contemporary trends and gender relations: **"The New Regime"** ridicules the "back-to-nature" health fad popular in early 20th-century America. It sarcastically proposes that humans should walk on all fours to restore health, escalating absurdly to suggest ladies wearing bear-skin rugs and crawling up Fifth Avenue. The satire targets both the pseudo-scientific wellness movements of the era and fashionable society's contradictions—women wearing animal skins "over their clothes" while rejecting natural living. **"Wives"** (by Arthur Guiterman) uses historical examples—Adam, Horatius—to joke that wives are impossible to please. The refrain suggests women care only about trivial matters (lateness, wet shoes, hats) regardless of male accomplishment, playing on common misogynistic stereotypes about female superficiality. **The dealer cartoon** and brief jokes ("Ruff Bachelor," "Silas") continue light domestic humor typical of the magazine's content. Overall, the page reflects early-1900s satirical attitudes toward health fads, fashion, and domestic gender dynamics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Disgusted Dealer: wM-m! 1F THAT'S THE HORSE 1 GUESS I'LL TAKE THE COW, AND IF IT'S THE COW I'LL TAKE THE HORSE, BUT IF IT’S BOTH i DON’T WANT IT. The New Regime E learn that the upright position assumed by man, dur- ing the last few centuries which we recall, is respon- sible for most of the troubles that flesh is heir to. A return to the four-footed basis is accompanied by a corresponding return to health and strength. The organs of the body have not had time to adapt themselves to all of the modern improvements. By going around on all fours, the equi- librium of Mother Nature is restored. When you think that it is necessary to go on a vacation, put your money in the bank and walk about on all fours for a couple of weeks; you will feel like a new man. The only’ objection to this principle is that it doesn’t go far enough. If we wish to recreate our bodies by reverting to the time when we were only animals, why stop at all fours? Primitive man used to rend his food with his hands, ‘and he wore skins next to his own skin. Now our ladies wear skins over their clothes. The possibilities of this new regime are limitless. The spectacle of a beautiful lady, wearing a bear-skin rug, and walking on all fours up Fifth Avenue, would go far to- wards rejuvenating society. In the first place, it would be an entirely new style, and that alone is worth the price of admission. Second, it would restore the bloom of youth to the lady’s cheek, and she would no longer have to use the artificial coloring matter at present in vogue in respectable circles. Thus we would have that ideal condition of things represented by the triumph of Nature over Art. IE ERA * Wives WHEN Adam, coining lovely words, Had named the fishes, beasts and birds, And all the vales of Paradise with praise of him were rife, He proudly told his charming mate; And Eve remarked, “You're very late!"— It's easier to please a three-ringed circus than a wife. When stout Horatius, braving hordes And slaying fierce Etruscan lords, Had stemmed the flood to bring his spouse the tidings of the strife, She merely yawned, “ Well, don’t forget To change your shoes ; they’re sopping wet !"— It's easier to please a fighting nation than a wife. And when, for lack of nobler thought, These idle verses having wrought, I showed the sad result to her who dominates my life, She said, “I don’t think much of that! But isn’t this a perfect hat? "— It's easier (I hope) to please you, Reader, than a wife! Arthur Guiterman, ANA wee MILATE, AND YOU'LL BE “GIVE YOUR NEW FOOD TIME TO AS ALL RIGHT S00; RUFF BACHELOR (in restaurant): 1 am glad to see your baby has kept still at last, madam. Motuer: Yes, sir. You are the only thing that has pleased him since he saw the animals eat at the zoo. ILAS: Got yer north field plowed yit? Reunen: Yes, a bunch of amateur golfers went over it yesterday.