Life — June 28, 1917 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Patriotic Rivalry A man we hate Is Samuel Bowers; His backyard garden's Better'n ours, —Macon Telegraph. He Knew the Rules A young man fell into a state of coma, but recovered before his friends had buried him. One of them asked what it felt like to be dead. “Dead!” he exclaimed. “I wasn't dead. And I knew I wasn't, because my feet were cold and I was hungry.” “ But how did that make you sure?” “Well, [knew that if I were in heaven I shouldn't be hungry, and if I was in the other place my feet wouldn't be cold.” —Tit-Bits. Pinch, use ALLEN’'S FOOT-EASE Try It and See A few years ago, parade in Boston in which the Stars and Stripes were conspicuous, a fair forcign- er with strong anti-American proclivities turned to a companion, and commenting on the display, pettishly remarked: “That American flag makes me sick. It looks just like a piece of checkerberry candy.” Senator Lodge, who was standing near- by, overheard the remark, and turning to the young lady, said: “Yes, it does. And. it makes everyone sick who tries to lick it.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. while watching a miss, reat Western| Champagne | “Brut Special 1903” “‘Special Reserve” | absolutely brut) “Extra Dry” medium) “Sparkling Red Burgundy” Produced by the old French slow method of fermentation inthe bottle taking from six to seven years of time. (very dey) Great Western is the Only American Champagne ever awarded a Gold Medal at Foreign Expositions, Pari Paris Expositior Brurelles Vienaa Exposition, 1 Bruxelles Exposition, 1 Paris Exposition, 1! Nn eI rite for our free Mustrated Booklet, Bleasant Valley Wine Company Rheims, N.Y. largest producers of Champagne in America | a iz EGYPTIAN Bit com DEITIES led ores ee and education ino PREFER Deities to any other cigarette. 25° dn W2y oe Aakers of the beat Gade Torkesh d Equpton Copan’ Berd They were discussing sociology and such things, and the noticeably singular young lady was giving her views on the inferior position that woman was forced to take in the world’s activities. “Now, just notice the difference in arriage, for instance. Haven't you ever noticed how many more men there are that get married than women?” —The Gargoyle. Missed Chances A London divine was entertaining a couple of clergymen from Birmingham at dinner. The guests spoke in praise of a sermon their host had delivered the Sun- day before. The host's son was at the table, and one of the clergymen said to him: “ My |. what did you think of your father’s sermon?” “TL think it was very good,” said the boy, “but there were three mighty fine places where he could have stopped.” —London Opinion. A Sherbet is made tasty and delightful by using Abbott's tera. Sampie_of bitters by mail, 25 cts, in stamps. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Unanswerable “T tell you,” said Pat, “the ould fri'nd is the best, after all, and, what's more, I can prove it.” “How are you goin’ to prove it?” “Where will you find a new fri’nd that has shtud by ye as long as the ould ones have? "—Last Word. GREAT BEAT SPRING WATER GO cents the case of 6 glass stoppered bottles HE true definition of a gentleman has been put in many different expressions, but a very essential qual- ification is that he should have the fore- thought to order Lire in advance from his newsdealer, thus saving vexation for himself and others. “LOOK AT THE DOGGIE, MA! ME STANDS JUST LIKE FATHER!” SEND A 2c. STAMP TO THE BANCRO | WORCESTER, MASS., FOR COMPLETE |ERARY OF NEW ENGLAND'S HisTd CAL POINTS OF INTEREST & FAM BEAUTY SPOTS. DEPT. D. BELL-AN$ Absolutely Remové Indigestion. One pac proves it. 25c at all druggi IBACARDI try: MAKES THE PERFECT COCKTAIL, HIGHBALL OR RICKEY. Folder containing recipes of famous Bacardi walled on request D. 8, DEJONGH. 127 Water Street, New. comichooks} ceived | And_ be down tl [ can it is us Frevented—if feeipped with a mODERICK St. Louis Mefacture oe conn