Life — June 14, 1917 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1028 He Started It, Anyway VER since the world began, genuine sentiment, im- pulsive courage, love of liberty have outweighed all the practical things on earth. Without the thing that Theo- dore Roosevelt represents, the whole world would long ago have been bankrupt. Think of it! France bleeding to death, and two hun- dred thousand men in America waiting to get the high sign to go over there and help France win the war! And a lot of old pacifists down in Washington saying, “Ts it feasible?” Theodore Roosevelt was practically the first man in this country to stir us up to a sense of our unpreparedness. He and Leonard Wood date back so far on that question as to be almost medieval. And because they did it, Leon- ard Wood has been relegated to Charleston and Teddy has the icy hand given to him from the White House. Immortal gods, weep for the soul of America when we hesitate in a cause like this! No Choice RS. KNICKER: As a patriotic duty we should eat the perishable things. Mrs. Bocker: Everything is perishable when Jack sits down at the table. “vy, DEY CAND'T STARF CHERMANY—DEY HAF TWO MIL- LION SWINE LEFT OVER DERE!” AND ABOUT SEVEN MILLION IN THE GERMAN ARMY "PRE * THE MAGNET Uninteresting People Mrs, Caroline Tigerlily Mokum MINENT suffragette leaders, as a rule, are always un- interesting. We are glad to say that Mrs. Mokum is no exception. This lady was born somewhere in Indiana or Ohio, we forget which. At the early age of thirteen months she could talk unintelligibly and has been increasing her speed ever since. She is also passionately enthusiastic about almost anything which excites her passionate enthusiasm. At the age of twenty-seven she married an inferior male, and immediately put him on a leash, within the limits of which he roams at will, supporting her as best he can by making money, muttering to himself when alone, and putting on a brave face to the world at large. She has indeed trained him to sit up on his hind legs and take notice of all her suffrage friends and to say that he thinks his wife is a wonder, which he does so well that he conveys the undoubted impression that he himself really believes it. Mrs, Mokum cares very little for dress, spending only a hundred dollars apiece for gowns. Her weight is about right, being about twenty points under a par of two hun- dred. She talks so well at times, that you cannot abandon utterly the impression that she is intelligent. She presides splendidly. Trouble “pRouate comes to kings, automobilists and married men. There have been various attempts to make trouble a virtue. The more trouble the Puritans had the more certain they were of getting into heaven; but that doctrine has been rather discredited here of late. The world has never had so much trouble as it is having at the present time. The human race has never had such an excellent opportunity to study trouble as it has just now. All the old religious illusions about trouble have been dissolved in this universal acquaintanceship with trouble. The fact of the matter is that trouble is nothing more than trouble, say what you wl. The more trouble we have the more miserable we will be. And vice versa. D. B. comicbooks.com