Life — June 7, 1917 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LTFE* Why Not Have a Scare Day? EING scared by the war is a favorite amusement. Get- ting into a panic about the business outlook its Proper accompaniment. The best way to do this is to set aside a scare day. If you want to be blue, do it right. Get it out of your system. Devote a day to it. But on other days why not go about as usual? Remember that it is easier to get along with some neces- sities than it is without a great many luxuries. The right kinds of luxuries are necessary. Cast your ducats on the waters of industrial energy and they will come back to you in time for you to pay your income tax. This tax, by the way, and the others with it, are nothing to be scared about. Ten per cent. of what any man makes is a small price to pay for getting the Germans out of France. Or keeping them out of this country. Do business as usual. Don't believe all you read in the newspapers. The things that never happen to you always outnumber those that do. Be inconsistent; spend your money. That's a genuine form of courage that helps Uncle Sam the most. The war will be won by open-handed people with senti- ment and sympathy, and with an eye for the thousands of workers who must be kept employed, if the wheels of busi- ness go round. Spend your money on the things you don't need, as well as those you do. SITUATIONS WANTED HUSBAND AND WIFE would like position as gardener and cook, ‘or will do anything. 23 years in last place as czar and czarina. Salary not_so important as permanent place in quiet, peaceful atmos- phere. Address Rowanorr, this paper. EMPLOYERS, giving up royalty, would like to secure position for their king. Steady, experienced, thoroughly broken to crown and sceptre, Distance no objection, Will go anywhere. Smal! salary to start. Constantine, 49 Greece, in rear. (Ring Sophy’s bell.) YOUNG MONARCH, 28 years old, 4 years as king in last place, would accept like position in small, tranquil country, Latin pre- ferred. No objection to South America. Light, rangy and stylish, perp fast, and thoroughly broken to bombs and revolutions.“ Manurt oRTUGAL, London. KING AND QUEEN, Swedish, expecting to make change shortly, would like position as gardener and coachman, cook and laundress. Good home more important than salary, At references. Address ws and Vicky, care thi EROR, 29 years as Kaiser in present position, expecting to be at liberty’ shortly, owing to change in employers’ circumstances, would like place as assassin, or pig-sticker in abattoir, No aversion to blood. Cool, resourceful, determined. Address Errictent, care this paper. Orson Lowell. — Germans First! 'HE news from Berlin that Americans living in Ger- many will not be interned, but will be permitted to go. about freely and attend to their business, may cause won- der at German leniency. Yet the reason is quite simple. The Germans have a peculiar obsession, namely, that all other peoples have the same standard of frightfulness which they have. There are a great many more Germans in America than there are Americans in Germany. The Germans assume, therefore, that if they do not treat Amer- icans well we will immediately retaliate in larger measure. They are always thinking of themselves first. WOMAN'S SPHERE Letting Lunatics Labor HE State Lunacy Commission of Delaware has ordered that the inmates of six lunatic asylums shall be put to work at intensive farming this summer, thus being able to supply their own foodstuffs. The subject has been agitated in other states, with varying results. It would be a curious outcome of this enforced experi- ment if it should cure any of the patients. Hitherto the idea governing most insane asylums has been to treat all of their lunatics as lunati Take a perfectly well man, deprive him of his occupation, shut him up in a large build- ing with unwholesome restrictions and practically nothing . to do but chatter to himself, and the probability is that he will go crazy. There have been attempts made to find in- door occupations for lunatics; but most of them have not been based upon natural laws. Healthy outdoor occupa- tion is the salvation of all human beings. To be forced into applying this simple idea to insane patients shows at least that a state of war is not an unmitigated evil. RANDALL: There's no foreign travel now. Rocers: Isn't the whole world planning to “do Ger- many"? comicbooks.com