Life, 1917-05-03 · page 12 of 42
Life — May 3, 1917 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes German military brutality during World War I. The main article, "Shocking the Germans," depicts a German General boasting to his Chief-of-Staff about atrocities: poisoning wells, destroying crops, seizing provisions, demolishing churches, and enslaving populations. The General's rage escalates when learning Americans destroyed a German ship and a flower-pot containing his daughter's hyacinth—the absurd juxtaposition mocking his disproportionate fury over personal loss versus mass cruelty. The accompanying illustrations reinforce anti-German sentiment through exaggerated depictions of German militarism. A small domestic comic strip ("Father Knickerbocker Hears Billy Sunday") provides lighter relief. The satire's point: exposing German warfare tactics as inhumane while ridiculing the General's outrage over trivial matters, making propaganda against a wartime enemy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
804 ‘EL EPE § Shocking the Germans HE German General scowled fe- rociously at his Chief-of-Staff. “Have you poisoned all the wells in Sector 43b?” he asked in staccato tones, denoting great efficiency. “ Four hundred and sixty-eight wells have been poisoned, Excellency,” re- sponded the debonair officer in the uni- form of the Death's Head Hussars. “Have you chopped down all trees, thrown rock-salt on all fertile pieces of land, deported all males capable of doing a day's work, seized all the pro- visions of the natives, cut the buttons from the garments of all enemy aliens and commandeered them, and slashed the soles from all leather shocs known to exist in this sector?” “We have done all these things, Ex- cellency, in accordance with the in- structions in General Order No. 1108.” “Have you razed the walls of all buildings, no matter how humble, and carefully demolished all churches and public institutions?” “ These things have been attended to, in pursuance of our usual custom, Ex- léncy.” And of course it is unnecessary for me to ask whether your men have con- fiscated all available Red Cross sup- plies destined for the inhabitants of the territory to be evacuated, and made arrangements to take with them all women between the ages of fifteen and thirty-five?” “Quite unnecessary, Excellency! All these things have been done.” “Good! Wholly good! Is there, then, any other:news which you have to report to me before we leave?” “Nothing, Excellency,” replied the Chief-of-Staff, “except that imme- diately on declaring war against us, the Americans seized all of our ships interned in the United States; and on one of them, in Boston, the American forces upset and destroyed a flower-pot containing hyacinths which the daugh- ter of the captain of the ship had raised with her own hands.” The face of the German General flushed purple, and his neck bulged with rage. “The dogs!” he roared. “The swine! The beasts! The bar- barians!’ The foul money-grubbers! I hate them! We shall exterminate them! We shall make slaves of them! We shall destroy their cities and lay waste their land! © Donnerwetter! “JOHN, DEAR, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT WE HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT FOR LUNCH?” Both: cee! 1t MUST TAKE A LOT OF NERVE TO DO THAT Schmierkase! Hasenpfeffer! Ach!" With a howl of fury, the General partially revenged himself on America by seizing a pen and signing an order imposing a fine of one million marks on the starving inhabitants of the sec- tor which he was evacuating. Five minutes later the General's en- tire command was victoriously advanc- ing backward. Kenneth L. Roberts. (holding her in his lap): Dar- ling, I only love you half as much H as I did. SHE: “ Well, only half of me-is conscious.” What do you mean? FATHER KNICKERBOCKER HEARS BILLY SUNDAY comicbooks.com