Life, 1917-04-26 · page 9 of 84
Life — April 26, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces about World War I-era politics: **"Goodbye, Huns!"** - A poem urging military action against German forces, using "Huns" as a derogatory term for Germans. It calls for driving them from Belgium, France, and Poland. **"Please Don't Muss Up Nassau!"** - Criticizes the *Evening Mail* newspaper for anti-British editorial positions, arguing that sympathy toward Germany is bad business. It suggests keeping Caribbean islands (the Bahamas, Bermudas) under British control for stability. **"Not That Kind of Dirt"** - Mocks evolutionary theory, claiming Germans' aggressive nature stems from inherent "breed" characteristics rather than evolution. The cartoon "Regulating the Traffic, 12006 B.C." depicts primitive humans and animals, while "The Traveling Salesman" shows wartime profiteering. The overall tone reflects pro-British, anti-German American sentiment during WWI.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Goodbye, Huns ! INCE Uncle Sam pulled out his stops Our boys have got to drill; Our girls have got to save the crops, And, bless their hearts, they will! Our workers all have got to work; Our rich folks fork out dough. The call’s a summons none may shirk: “The Huns have got to go!" Blow them out of Belgium; Blow them out of France; Lift them out of Poland By the slackness of their pants. Blow them out of water, Or send them all below! Defilers of the decent earth— The Huns have got to go. Please Don’t Muss Up Nassau! INCE it has ceased to be profitable to be violently pro- German in the open, our neighbor, the Evening Mail, takes refuge in being violently anti-British, with result that one hardly knows whether its editorial page or its Goldberg page is funnier, Besides raging handsomely right along against British interference with our commerce, one day it insists that the Bermudas shall be given up to ns, and the next day declares that our safety demands the possession of the Bahamas. Sympathy is due to a paper in as bad a plight, politically, as the Mail. Also smiles. But let the Bahamas and the Bermudas stay British for a while longer, good neighbor. New York and all the coun- try need restful winter refuges, and testimony piles up that these islands under British management are more old- fashioned and restfuller than Florida. When the war is over there will be more call than ever for places where one can sit down in peace for a little spell of reflection. Not That Kind of Dirt VOLUTIONISTS will want you to believe that all men, four or five thousand years ago, were like the Germans. But you needn't believe it. Different breeds have always had different characteristics. It is credible that Germans now are like Germans four or five thousand years ago, but that is all. REGULATING THE TRAFFIC, 12006 B. C, WHAT JOB WOULD HAVE DONE IF HIS WELL-KNOWN HAD BEEN TRIED BY A PACIFIST THE TRAVELING SALESMAN ATIENCE