Life, 1917-04-26 · page 60 of 84
Life — April 26, 1917 — page 60: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century American values. **"The Fatal Illness"** (top cartoon): Shows Russian autocracy as a sickbed patient labeled "Russian Autocracy." A concerned observer wonders if it's contagious—satire on fears that revolutionary ideas might spread to other nations. **"The Awakening of the Fairy Godmothers"** (main story): Fairies meet to bestow gifts on a Steel King's newborn son. Traditional fairies propose statesmanship, poetry, and military skill—classical virtues. The presiding officer dismisses these as outdated, revealing modern society only rewards entertainment and spectacle: baseball players earning $15,000-$50,000 annually, circus performers making $150,000, motion-picture actors like Charlie Chaplin earning $650,000, and evangelist Billy Sunday's "enormous" profits. The satire criticizes how American capitalism has replaced noble values with celebrity worship and money-making—the child is predicted to earn $1,480,000 annually by age twenty-eight.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘BE * \ AUTOcRAcY i \ | THE FATAL ILLNESS GRACIOUS! 1 WONDER IF IT Is CONTAGIOUS! The Awakening of the Fairy Godmothers OCAL NO. 47 of the Fairy Godmothers’ Union was holding a business meeting for the purpose of decid- ing on the gifts which the members of the union were to bestow upon the infant son of the Steel King at the christening. “We must take good care that we bestow the choicest gifts at our command,” stated the young but astute presi- dent of the union, “in order that the Steel King may feel impelled to give handsomely to our University of Wizard- ry, Witchcraft and the Magic Arts.” “Very true,” declared a very ancient but still beautiful fairy, who had been one of the original sextette to bestow gifts on the Sleeping Beauty in the Wood. “I shall bestow on him the gift of poetic understanding.” “And J,” declared another fairy of the old school, “I shall bestow on him the gift of statesmanship to such a degree that he will become the President of the United States.” “And I,” cried a third fairy enthusiastically, stow on him the gift of bravery and skill in warfare.” At this juncture the presiding officer leaped from her chair and rapped smartly for order with her wand. “ Not so fast! Not so fast!” she cried. “This will never do! Your gifts would have been excellent a generation ago; but you are too far behind the times. Ideas have changed “shall be- in the past few years. People nowadays have little use for statesmanship and military ability and poctic under- standing. Society bestows the largest tangible rewards on wholly different attainments.” “Then what in heaven's name are we to do?” asked the member of the Sleeping Beauty sextette. “I don’t know what I could bestow that would please the Steel King! “Oh, there are lots of things,” declared the presiding officer soothingly. “You could bestow great baseball-play- ing ability on him. The best baseball players get from $15,000 to $50,000 per year out of baseball alone. Give him the attributes of a champion prizefighter. By signing up with a circus, when he wasn’t fighting or in vaudeville, he could make $150,000 a year just like finding it. Make him a great dancing-teacher; he'd soon be a millionaire. Make him a great baseball manager er a football coach. John J. McGraw gets as much as $41,000 a year for coach- ing the Giants, and Harvard pays Percy Haughton more than most of the world’s greatest generals receive. Make him a popular motion-picture actor; Charley Chaplin ad- THROW HER General: APPLES IS CONTRABAN, AAD SHOOT HER AT SUNRISE INTO TH’ GUARD-HOUSE, MEN, AN TER MORROW mits, with a look of honest pride in his press-agent’s cyes, that he gets $650,000 a year. Make him a great revivalist; Billy Sunday’s profits are simply enormous. Statesman- ship and military ability and poctic understanding don't get the money these days; and that seems to be about the only standard of success with the average citizen.” Thus cducated along modern lines, the fairies revised their list of gifts in such a manner that the Stecl King’s son was assured of making a howling success and an an- nual income of $1,480,000 by the time he was twenty-eight years old. The Steel King was so delighted that he gave the fairies enough money to start their university and also to build a Library of Movie Films. Kenneth L. Roberts. comicbooks.com