Life, 1917-04-19 · page 38 of 42
Life — April 19, 1917 — page 38: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the early 20th-century movement toward standardizing college curricula and student conduct. The main article mockingly proposes absurd "standardization" rules: limiting students to 15 cigarettes daily, enforcing an 1:30 AM bedtime, restricting cabaret attendance to once weekly, and standardizing profanity vocabularies. The satire targets reformers' obsession with controlling student behavior. The joke extends to mocking college trips to New York, suggesting authorities should systematically track which students visit to help police manage "refined college students" causing weekend disturbances. The piece ridicules how standardization advocates claimed to improve education while actually proposing intrusive, paternalistic regulations that treat adults like children. The deadpan tone—presenting ridiculous rules as serious proposals—is the satire's primary vehicle, highlighting the absurdity of the standardization movement itself.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The New College 'HE standardization of col- leges is a subject which is naturally up for the prayerful A\ consideration of all high-minded N educators; the idea being to have every college curriculum precisely the same as every other college curriculum. This is, of course, highly de- sirable. We would, therefore, suggest that the following sched- © ules he adopted as a basis for future consideration: College students to be limited to smoking each day fifteen standardized cigarettes. To go to bed not later than 1:30 A.M. To sce not more than one cabaret show, a week. A commission to be appointed to ar- range a vocabulary of profanity and slang in such a manner that college students will be able to get some more Has The Motor Boat Bud Got You? Health and happiness are assured with one of the newpopular priced Gray motors in your boat. Select your bost from our 1917 Boat Builders Catalog showing prod- ‘p vcts of 200 leading boat builders. Select your engine from our new. complete fe Entine Catalog. Both books FREE. W MOTOR COMPANY we. Wetrelt. Mleb, j Spring iy in the Land of the Sky is | GLORIOUS Climate,Service,allthe Sports in Perfect Grand Prize, St. Louis HE richness, evenness, depth and charm of Baldwin tone cannot be du- plicated. Only with the Baldwin Piano can it be produced because only the Baldwin has the acoustic properties capable of its development. Those who approach the selection of a piano unprejudiced and with open mind find the Baldwin a revelation, If you are interested in the purchase of areally high- @rade plano, you should have the very attractive pro} sition now belng offered to prospective buyers by The Baldwin Piano Company and {ts dealers. Write to nearest address. The Baldwin Piano Company Cincinnati ......142 W. Fourth St. Denver. 1636 California St. 323, Wabash Av. San Francisco . 1111 Olive St. Indianapolis. 665 Fifth Av. Louisville $21 S. Fourth Av. Dallas... 1911 Elm Street i” i me powe has b a cris the © fear, is the not becau is for abler was more abler more soldi¢ the h becau ingto truth Earl Lloy: much Lie into their speech than at pres- ent. This can be done by mal them use one set of adjectives for | Tell Others three weeks at a time, and then chang- ing off What You No college to be allowed to send, on a trip to New York, more than five per cent. of its total enrolment during Know About one week. College students are now supposed to take a trip to New York at any odd moment in order to “let off B E L L . A N Ss FOR INDIGESTION —__ steam.” This is all right, of course, and in line with our highest educa- hypo strivi no « truth Engl Ty tional ideals, but it certainly ought to Albemarle Park, ASHEVILLE, N.C, Southern Hospi be done more systematically than at present. It is highly disconcerting to the New York police force on Satur- day evenings not to know just how many refined college students they may have to provide for. Other methods of standardization along the lines we have indicated will naturally suggest themselves. “Out Again, Gone Again” With Basline Autowline You can pull your car out of a ditch or mud bole on its own power—if you have a Basline Autowline. Just fasten one end to a rear wheel, take a turn of the line around the bub, and fasten other end to fence post ‘or tree. Then start your motor and— . singel you'll be out of trouble in a second! For example: How much whiskey at’s an extra use, of course, for Basline Autowline is made for towing. It's oun 1 en a length of Yellow’ Strand Wire Rope with patented Snafile Hooks for should a young gentleman of seven: attaching. The hooks stay hooked. Basline Autowline is light, powerful, 4 teen, whose father allows him only an durable, dependable. Price, east of Rockies, $4.55. is ‘ Powrxstret Auvrowtock makes your car and spare tires theft-proof. Price, east of Rockies, only s Buy from your Accessory Dealer. Literature on request BRODERICK & BASCOM ROPE CO. St, Louis—New York Manufacturers of celebrated Yellow Strand Wire Rope For over forty years, B. & TB. Wire Ropes have made good on the biggest jobs income of five thousand dollars a year, absorb during the course of seven ; days? It has been demonstrated that obviates alcohol is a food, and this young man Wa recogni: needs nourishment, but is it not pos- of the sible for him to acquire too much of this kind of nourishment and thus overtax his brain? This should not ie be regarded as a purely chemical prob- hair pe lem; doubtless it enters into the realm of psychology and self-consciousness, without which no professor of any col- lege at the present time would be able to make a decent and respectable living « _ The Oni comicbooks.com