Life — March 8, 1917 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Breath of Scandal “Yes,” said a lady of high social dis- tinction at the Colony Club in New York; “T dearly love a Bronx cocktail before dinner, but I never take one. The odor of the gin stays on my breath for hours, and my husband doesn’t like it.” “Only too true!” stated Beatrice Her- ford, the society monologuist, dreamily. “The wages of gin is breath!” —Saturday Evening Post. Not Fair A leading milk distributor was talking to a reporter about milk prices. “But our adversaries’ questions are not fair,” he said. “ Our adversaries are like the cross-examining lawyer. Is it true,’ this lawyer asked a wit- ness, ‘that you were the only sober man at the banquet?’ “*'No, of course not,’ the witness an- swered indignantly. “Who was, then?" said the lawyer.” —London Opinion. English Nurse: NEVER MIND, DEARIE—IHERE COMES A ZEPPELIN Not in the Running The judge stopped to have a word with the colored man of all work, and asked if he went to church. “Yessuh, Ah goes to church every Sunday,” he said. “Are you.a member?” “ Yessuh.” “ What church? “ Prespeteeryn. “Do you believe in the doctrine of election?” “ Yessuh.” “Do you believe I am elected to the saved?” “Law, judge, Ab didn’ even know you was a candidate.”"—Argonaut, A saitox who had landed after a long voyage, and having been paid off, called a cab, threw his luggage inside, and jumped on top himself. “ Beg pardon, sir,” said the astonished cabman, “but you should get inside and put your boxes on top.” teer the craft ahead, sonny. Pas- sengers always go on deck and luggage in the hold,” was the reply from the top. —Tit-Bits, Canada and British Possessions. in advance. Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, itle registered in U. S. Patent Office. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, s2 cents, Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain N° matter how good the whiskey—or the gin or Vermouth—you put in your cock- tail, the result is disastrous to pride and palate —if they are proportioned by guess-work. Club Cocktails owe their smoothness and delicious flavor to exact and accurate mixing—and to their ageing before bottling. A good cocktail is made-to-measure, not made by guess-wor! All the popular kinds—at your dealer's G. F. HEUBLEIN & BROTHER Hartford New York Londen $5.00 a year =—- - —_ is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from hook- ‘sin all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied fron ’s London Office. Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by ‘stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of wns licited contrib Notice of ms ge of address should reach this office ten days prior to the date of issue to be afected, FAINT HEART NE*ER WON 1S NO MAN, IF WITH HIS TONGUE HE CANNOT WIN A ‘WOMAN Cistez | GAS 2S IF HE'S BASHFUL THIS MIGHT HELP comicbooks.com