Life, 1917-02-15 · page 12 of 42
Life — February 15, 1917 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on dog ownership during wartime (likely WWI era, given European war references). The main cartoon shows two well-dressed men examining a dog, captioned "Prosperous Pacifist: and by the way, Mars, make this suit roomy. If the war in Europe keeps up, I'll grow stouter than ever." The satire mocks wealthy civilians who profit from war while remaining personally uninvolved—suggesting their prosperity and comfort will increase their girth. The poem "Dumb Influences" humorously catalogs the chaos caused by owning a dog in an apartment building, listing damages and social consequences. Below are two unrelated sections: "Things We Skip in Newspapers" (listing tedious wartime coverage) and "They Haven't Come Back" (listing borrowed items neighbors won't return), typical satirical observations on civilian wartime life and social friction.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
@ MARS TAILOR & OUTFITTER * NEUTRALS Prosperous Pacifist: AND BY THE WAY, MARS, MAKE THIS SUIT ROOMY, IF THE WAR IN EUROPE KEEPS UP I'LL GROW STOUTER THAN EVER Things We Skip in the News- Papers STATIStics on the European war. Articles on the Mexican situation. Press-agents’ gush about coming stars. Letters from “ Vox Populi” and “ Ver- itas.” “Poems worth reprinting.” Society news from near-by towns. The “ How to be beautiful” column. The notes that pass between nations. The lists of guests at fashionable wed- dings: The specches of T. R. and W. J. B. They Haven't Come Back UNTIE’S silk umbrella, Sister's magazine, Brother's horn and tire-pump, Chains and gasoline, Uncle's set of Kipling, Father's fifty bones, Mother’s Sunday tablecloth And culinary loans— Things the neighbors borrowed With the best intent, In this solemn season All are keeping lent! Corinne Rockwell Swain. Dumb Influences HE search for a dog. The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The plausible kennel owner, comprehensive pedigree. ungainly puppy. muddy paws on the trouser legs. parting with a fifty-dollar bill. return to the apartment-house. horror of the other tenants. frantic barks. chewed trousers. masticated boots. claw-marks on the furniture. early morning walk. late morning airing. early afternoon stroll. evening run. hot nose. attack of shivers. fear of consequences. summoning of the family doctor. joyous recovery. evening at the theatre. dog locked in the guest-room. passionate howls. eager return. affectionate leaping. torn rugs. tattered bed-spread. wrecked curtains. clawed wall-paper. whipping. neighbors’ complaints. landlord's remonstrances. disgust and loathing. momentous decision. house in the country. departure from the city. triumph of the dog. WHEN JUSTICE REIGNS THIS WAS THE SECOND TIM® GRANDPA CARELESSLY STEPPED ON AND RUINED A TIN SOLDIER. comicbooks.com