Life — February 8, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Time—The present. Prace—District courtroom, county. (Judge Nott takes his seat on the bench. The Sheriff, who has just fin- ished making out his mileage bill for summoning witnesses who came to his office to accept the papers, enters. Deputy Gunz enters with his prisoner, deposits him in a chair and goes to sleep. Counsel for the state drops its several selves comfortably, though in- artistically, along one side of a table, while counsel for the defendant dittoes on the other side. Clerks pile on the table a representation of the Andes made of assorted law books.) Tue Suerirr: Order in the court- room. (Sounds of numerous gabfests in ac- tion in the galleries.) Jupce Nort: The defense will call its first witness. (Counsel Number Eighteen pokes Deputy Gunz in the ribs and whispers in his ear.) Deputy Gunz: John Gazook, come forward. : (John Gazook takes the stand.) CounseL Numper One: John Ga- zook, what is your name? District Attorney: I object, your honor. He's leading the witness. Jupce Nort: Objection sustained. Counse. Numpek One: What is your name? District Attorney: I object, your honor. It is not yet proven the wit- ness has a name. Jupce Nott: Objection sustained. Counset Numper One: Very well, Mr. Gazook, you need not tell the jury your name. Where were you born, Mr. Gazook? District Atrornry: I object. It is not yet in the record that the witness was born. Jupce Nott: Objection sustained. Counsen Numsex Oxe: Were you born, Mr. Gazook? Mr. Gazoox: Yes, sir. District Attorney: I ask that the answer be stricken from the record on the ground that it is hearsay. any “LTEE- A Tragedy in One Act Jupce Nort: Objection sustained. Counset Numper One: Mr. Gazook, Great Fizzle Murder Case District Attorney: I ask that the answer be stricken from the record were you or were you not present on +and the jury be asked not to consider the night of July 4, 1897, when the de- fendant here was discussing the situa- tion in Cuba with the bartender of The Blue Goose, and Joe Fizzle entered, carrying four shotguns and a mountain howitzer, and threatened eighteen times to murder him, and the defend- ant, after a prayer for peace, cut his throat? Mr. Gazoox: Yes, sir. THE GREASED POLE it, and that counsel be instructed not to lead the witness. Jupce Nott: The jury will not con- sider the question nor the answer. Counsel -must not lead the witness. (To Gazook) Mr. Gazook, tell the jury in your own words what happened. Joun Gazoox: Your honor, I ask to be excused. Juvce Nort: On what ground? Joun Gazoox (to Counsel Number One): May I tell him? Counse. Numper One: Certainly. Joun Gazoox: Well, your honor, I would prefer for the examination to go forward as it started because my experience in the witness business is confined almost entirely to unwritten- law cases and I might get some of it wrong. Counset, Number One: Your honor, we plead surprise, and ask that the jury be withdrawn. Counset Numper Two: We ask that the witness be locked in the bas- tile and the key thrown away. Counse. Numper Turee: We plead habeas corpus, sic semper tyrannis, ¢ pluribus unum, statute of limitations, nor part of the res gestae, immaterial and irrelevant. Counset Numer Four: We charge the district attorney with conspiracy. Counset Numper Five: We ask for a continuance, change of venue, new trial, new jury, new judge, change of witnesses, and ask the court to con- sider the health of the defendant. (The District Attorney breaks four buttons off his waistcoat while bowing to the widow of the decedent in the gallery and shaking hands with him- self. There is a flash and explosion behind the judge's bench. Men and women scream, A flashlight picture has been taken, Judge Nott fines the photographer fifty dollars. The photog- rapher tells him to present the bill to the auditor of the editorial department of The Evening Howl.) (Continued on page 237) comicbooks.com