Life, 1917-02-08 · page 37 of 42
Life — February 8, 1917 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct elements: **"The Great Fizzle Murder Case"** (top left): A satirical courtroom drama mocking legal incompetence. The humor centers on a juror demanding newspaper expense reimbursement because the court excluded jurors from the proceedings—forcing him to buy papers to learn what happened during his own trial. The joke targets judicial absurdity and the defendant's hysteria. **Cook's Imperial Champagne Advertisement** (left): A period advertisement playing on wine snobbery, suggesting sophisticated people now judge champagne by taste ("labial enjoyment") rather than label prestige. **Pennsylvania Railroad Safety Advertisement** (center/right): A corporate advertisement boasting 553 million passengers carried without fatalities, emphasizing modern steel cars and safety protocols. This represents typical early-20th-century corporate PR. **Bottom section**: Two brief humorous items—Irish dialect dialogue about courtship propriety, and a quip about a woman named "Vere de Vere" whose refined manners suffered because she didn't subscribe to *Life* magazine in advance, missing its "refining influence." This is self-promotional humor about the magazine itself.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a aurleys <q, Safety for Over Half a Billion Passengers The Great Fizzle Murder Case (Continued from page 208) Jupce Nott: The court will overrule all motions of counsel for the defense and order that the case proceed. (Deputy Gunz returns with the jury.) Deputy Gunz: Your honor, Juror Number Eight wants to know if the state will allow an expense account for news- papers he has been forced to buy to learn what was going on while the jury was ordered out of the courtroom, (Counsel Number One does a double fip, and weeps a hat full of tears. Coun- sel Number Two sustains the fainting defendant.) The Steel Car Route For years the Pennsylvania Railroad System has been conducting an energetic campaign of safety. a Only all-steel cars have been built. Efficiency tests have been established; safety-first expositions have been held for the education and instruction of train~ men; safety committees have been organized; and over 120,000 safety text-books have been distributed to employees. e COOK'S Extra Dry Champagne Serve it! The ttme ts past when hosts chose thetr champagne for label enjoyment rather than for labial enjoyment. Nowadays, everybody who is anybody and pretends to any Knowledge of wines proudly serves Cook's Imperial Extra Dry Sold Everpwhere— Served Everywhere AMERICAN WINE CO.,ST.LOUIS,U.S.A. It is the logical result of this safety movement that during the past three years over half billion passen- gers—553,890,063—more than five times the total population of the United States—have been carried over the lines of the Pennsylvania Railroad System without the loss of the life of a single passenger in a train accident. On the Pennsylvania Railroad east of Pittsburgh a perfect record for four years has been made, during which a total of 616,626,957 pas- sengers were safely carried. With the continued co-operation of our faithful em- ployees, to whom great credit is due, we hope to maintain the record we have established. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD The Standard Railroad of the World Se " ”’"e "°° " ” ' ' ° » °° "l LOO “ MMMM ULL. Jupce Nort: Proceed with the case, be after havin’ somethin’ to say to ye me- gentlemen. (The District Attorney opens a news- paper pink sheet noisily.) Tue Snerirr: Order in the court- room. Counset Numser One: If the court will be so kind—where were we at? Jupce Nort: There is nothing for the court to do but order a new trial. The case will be set for the first Monday in January of 1918. “Miss Noran, if it wasn’t for Tir- rence O'Brien that do be coortin’ ye, I'd silf, th’ night.” “It's very considerate ye are, Mr. Mul- ligan, but did ye niver hear that prisint company is always accipted?” —Dallas News. ER manners had not that repose that marks the caste of Vere de Vere,” largely because she was careless about ordering her Lire in advance from the newsdealer, and therefore sometimes missed its refining influence. comicbooks.com