Life, 1917-02-01 · page 14 of 40
Life — February 1, 1917 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains three separate satirical pieces: 1. **"Good Bye, Buffalo Bill"**: An obituary-style tribute to Colonel William F. Cody, praising him as emblematic of the American Wild West frontiersman—brave, skilled, and admirable to Europeans. The text notes he lived nearly seventy-two years. 2. **"Pork in Ruins"**: A brief joke where a tourist asks a guide about the Parthenon, and the guide quips that even congressmen would be awed by it—satirizing Congress as greedy or foolish. 3. **"The Great Secret"** and **"Hotter Than Expected"**: Articles discussing time management and wealth-building, plus a humorous train scene about uncomfortable conditions. The illustrations use period-typical pen-and-ink style to complement these satirical commentaries on American life and politics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
174 Good Bye, Buffalo Bill HERE will never be another Buf- falo Bill until after the country has been given back to the Indians. And that may not happen for many years to come, even though the Suffs govern us and we have national prohi- bition, and continue to be saved from discipline by neutrality. Colonel Cody was a fine figure of a man produced by hazardous service from boyhood on our western frontier —when we had one; a man of courage and stamina, proficient in his calling, a good scout, a good hunter and an admirable showman. In all ways that one knows of he was a credit to his country, and his merit was the more valuable because it was conspicuous. To Europe he seemed the typical American of the American Wild West ; and Europe admired him and said he was good. So he was; very good of the kind; and passing at nearly seventy-two, had lived pretty well out an honorable and useful life. Pork in Ruins UIDE: This is the Parthenon. Tourist: Gee, what a Congress- man they must have had! HOTTER THAN EXPECTED The Great Secret HE regulation of our time is more important than the effort to get money. When we know how to regulate our time enough money will always come. Earning a liv- ing is only a matter of learning how to spend one’s time. And singular as this may seem, it is not the time spent in earning a living that counts so much as the time spent when we are not earning it. It is what you do when you don’t have to do anything that tells in the long run. When, therefore, you are not busy trying to make both ends meet, spend your time in associating with millionaires and people who have nothing to do but spend enormous incomes. You'll be a millionaire yourself before you know it. If you want to catch a disease, always expose yourself to it. Willing to Be Spared the Introduction TH train had groaned to silence broken only by a sput- tering snore in upper seven. The curtains in lower eight parted, and a bibulous voice called: “Shay, neighbor, wouldja mind liftin’ zhe needle on zhat Officer Commanding Trench: Loox out, SAMMY! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A GAS ATTACK, FOLLOWED BY HOT one . ! WORK AT CLOSE QUARTERS, record till it gets t’ zhe music?” comicbooks.com