Life — January 18, 1917 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

° adian reign hs to Great Western “a Champagne “Extra Dry” (teedbum) Produced by the old French slow method of fermentation in the bottle taking from six to seven years of time. Great Western is the Only American Champagne ever awarded a Gold Medal at | Foreign Paris Exposit Paris Expos positions. ion, 1900, France a, 1889, France Bruselles Exposition, 1910, Belgium | Vicona Exposition, 1873, Austria Bruxelles Exposition, 1897, Belgium Paris Exposition, 1867, France Write for our tree Hinstrated Bookict swhich tells how Champagne ts made, | Pleasant Valley Wine Company Rheims, N. Y. | Oldest and largest producers of Champagne in America The Gentle Art of Reforming the World ! MAN turned to his apher, who sat at his elbow. “Call up Smith.” “Yes, sir.” ‘The stenographer got the number. Mr. Smith was also seated in his office, with his stenographer at his elbow. The bell rang. The conversation “Is this Mr. Smith's office?” "Is Mr. Smith there?" “Who is this?” "This is Mr. Average Man.” “ Talking No, his assistant. Won't you ask nith to come to the phone?” “No. Mr, Smith doesn’t do business that way. When you put Mr. Average Man on, then I will let Mr. Smith know, and he will come.” “But Mr. Average Man wants to talk mith on important business. “Wait a moment. . . . Hellot Mr ys he makes it a rule never to ond to a telephone call unless the who calls him is actually on the You tell ifr. Average Man that. will you?” Mr. Average Man's stenographer told what Mr. Smith had said, and he sat some moments in thought. Mr. Aver- Man, in spite of rumors to the con- has a primitive sense of justice. » he took up the instrument. “Hello! Yes. This is Average Man. Hella! Smith?” “Tlello, Average Man! What can I do for you? “You've done cnough already, old You've made me see a great light. You have taught me what bad manners it is for one man to call up another and expect him to come to the phone first. 1 can only plead thoughtlessness. It never occurred to me before.” “Don't mention it, old fellow. And now—" Four minutes later Smith turned to his assistant. “About how many Average Men have called me up since I first thought of do- ing this to-day?" he said “About eight or nin “And the same thing has happened in each case, hasn't it? I've stuck by a perfectly just rule, and in the end each one of them has apologized for his ob vious rudeness.” “Yes, sir.” And how much time has it taken?” “ About twice as long as usual.” “That being the case,” replied Smith, looking at the clock and buttoning up his coat, “let us call it a day, and go home and reflect upon the number of other Average Men there may be left yet to reconstruct in this vale of vibrations.” When Physician Meant “Physic—Dispenser” N Shakespeare's time if you were sick and went toa doctor he di or “physicked”” you, one of two things. He cither bled you Send for booklet, “THE KATIONAL TREATMENT OF CONSTIPATION, i Lame... Physicians no longer practice bleeding. And the leaders of the profession are equally opposed to the indiscrim- inate use of laxative and cathartic drugs. In fact the habitual use of laxatives is now known to be one of the most fruitful causes of constipation, Physicians of the highest standing prescribe Nujol be- cause it relieves constipation without any bad after effects and without forming a habit. It acts in effect as an in- ternal lubricant, preventing the bowel contents from hardening, andin this way fucilitating normal movements. All druggists carry Nujol. Avoid substitutes, Write today for Bonbiels whe Rational Treatment of Constipation” using cou. pon below, STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey plainly below, Write your name and address { Dept. 15 | cated comicbooks.com