Life — January 11, 1917 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“IPB * Life’s Contest in Criticism (The Critici ably postponed until issue of January nm Contest is now closed. The award of the $500 prize for the best criticism We shall endeavor to print as many contributions a been unavoid- possible before that date) No. 10 y, onville, Mass. IFE is an example of Success based on Independence. Its instrument is chiefly Wit. The Thing is worked thus: a Persons with a Sense of Humor are the most intellectual on Earth. Such persons, pronged with the Trident of Wit, return to be pronged again; for, having received of the Essence of Truth, they would for More. Those thus pronged again make up the Army of Con- sumers, For instance, Lire has long pronged the Jews; hence the Jews, intellectual, are enthusiastic Buyers. Lire smashes the Germans, and the Germans are Constant Subscribers. Suppose Lirr’s dramatic reviewer were gagged as to his truthful utterance concerning the theatre. Should we read his Stuff? No. So said reviewer writes independently, with the result that Lire has no theatrical advertising, but gains a wide circulation among those who wish to know the Truth, and this increased circulation brings more ad- vertising of a Better Class, such as How to Mend Bald Heads, Cigarettes, Sexology, How to Keep Your Shirt Down, and Booze. Lire needs no other advertising than the fearless use of this Trident of Wit, in which respect it has got in on the Ground Floor of its Contemporaries. We don't like everything about Lire. We wish it had less advertising, leaving more room for contributors. Don't renig Togo. The type is too small, but that can’t be helped. There are not quite enough Naked Ladies. The verse is often good, but sometimes Suspicious, and all the Brothers might take an Occasional Pill. Lexington, Va, L' 2 is a joy; why criticis Yet, when producers seck s in joybeams, and even encourage fault-finding, why not? Lire. is unique, but uniquity does sometimes descend into iniquity. The “ Awful” and “Improper” numbers linger Moreover, the faithful reader still, frowns, Naughtiness is hardly wicked- in memot even testily, on occasion. ness, but dulness! For example, why skin the medicos eternally? They do, occasionally, relieve tummyache, and great minds agree not yet on vaccination or vivisection. Similarly, why paint preachers, perpetually, as sissified, yet rather “ornery,” nincompoops? Some such there be, but the dominies, for character and usefuln rank, may- hap, higher than editorial nabobs, and at pitiful pay. And Josephus! Why so much of him, and so little left of him? One cannot but wonder if he laid violent hands on Lire’s private store! The Sun used to do that sort of thing, drive to death, and cleverly, but how tiresome, and, how hurtful to its influence! Finally, brethren, Lire is of the earth earthy, and good, but a little more heavenliness would widely extend its use- fulness, and in directions where cheerfulness and sanity are greatly needed. “Irreverence” may be a vague charge, but Lire is excluded from many homes because of occa- sional flippancy on certain subjects. Lire is no common jester, but, like Mark Twain, of happy memory, a sunny and sane philosopher. One may jest and promulgate sound ideas, yet avoid needless offence. Lire preaches, alas! to thousands of empty pews, and the preacher’s tactlessness alone is to blame. No. 12 Birmingham, Ala. HEN I open the pages of Lire the first advertisement my eyes rest upon begins, “ Are you curious to know what is in this space in the regular edition of Lire? We cannot tell you here. It’s against the law in :his state.” I am not curious; I KNow. For sixteen drab years I was the wife of a drunkard. We are childless. I gave birth to one living child that died in infancy; then came one still-born, and after that years of suffering. I have heard my husband rave like a madman, drivel like an idiot. I have known hunger, have felt the blow of a drunkard’s fury. * Six years ago a change came; he drinks no longer, and is to-day a sober man. You offer a prize of $300 for a criticism of Lu Not for $5,000 would I forego the satisfaction of telling you how I loathe a magazine that will publish a liquor adver- tisement. Not for $5,000,000 would I go back to the day when your bold headlines, “ Are you curious” would have the power to lure my husband on to drink, drink, drink. An AtapaMa Woman, No. 13 jegerson City, Mo. ) be witty one need not necessarily be unkind. Lire strikes hard and generally in the right spot, but it many times strikes needlessly and leaves sore spots where the blows fall hardest. The surgeons appear to be continuous targets. It will not be disputed that surgery is a science and that it has greatly benefited the human race. It is an old story that if surgeons are not allowed to dissect the dead, living human beings will pay for their ignorance. Dissecting a living ani , a guinea pig, ete., (Continued on paye 70) comicbooks.com