Life — December 14, 1916 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1120 “LIFE: OLISH CONTEMPO ARIES ~~ Be an A Bad Name Sticks The very sentimental young lady in- quired gushingly : “Oh, Colonel, don't you love Long- fellow's poems?” “Can't say I do,” replied the old cam- paigner. “ Never read them, in fact. Con- sider all poetry absolute drivel.” “ But,” she persisted, “ surely you can- not help admiring this verse of his, out of ‘The Day Is Done,’ you know: “* And the night shall be filled with music, And the cares that infest the day Shall fold their tents like the Arabs, And as silently steal away.’” “ By Jove!" he exclaimed. “ There is something in that. I know those Arab beggars—they would simply steal any- soit Sherbet ia made tasty and delightfal by using Abbott's Sample of bitters by. 2 cts. in stamps. GWE Aabbott & Co, Baltimore” Ma. Inadequate Instructions ic, is your mother in? mother is out shopping. : When will she return? (loudly): Mother, what shall I say now?—Ladies’ Home Journal. aromatic bouquet lends to Old Overholt Rye a distinctive taste and flavor. For years "Old Overholt Rye “Same for 106 years’* has been the favorite of particular peo- ple and its universal popularity is due to the fact that it is as pure, rich and wholesome today as in 1810. Old Over- holt is made from selected Pennsylvania, Rye, aged in the wood, bottled in bond, A. Overholt & Co.,Pittsbareh, Pa MAKES THE PERFECT COCKTAIL, HIGHBALL OR RICKEY. Folder containing recipes of famous Bacaril drinks: malted on ree DS, DEJONGH, 127 Water Street, New Vork The self-controlled man is a poised, square living man who does every tang in moderation. He knows exactly what he wants and quickly insists upon getting it. Most times his whiskey is Wilson—a wonderfully mild and mellow Whiskey —That’s All! The Whiskey for which we invented the Non-Refillable Bottle FREE CLUB RECIPES—Free booklet of famous club recipes for mixed drinks. Address Wilson, 13 E. 31st St, N.Y. That's Allt A Limited View The bluejacket had been in the battle off Jutland, and in the railway compart- ment every one addressed him respect- fully. Incidentally he was the recipient of numerous fine cigars. He conducted himself with becoming dignity, and when the foreign-looking gentleman who had kept silent went out at a roadside sta- tion the audience settled down to hear the yarn. Nodding his head toward the dark stranger on the platform, the blue- jacket remarked with a grin: “'E thinks 'e ‘as lost somethink ’e'd like to hear, ’e ‘as. But hall Hi saw of the bloody battle was coal—nothink but coal. Hi'm a stoker, you see, that's what Hi am."—Argonaut, Regular The tailor had called to collect his bill very frequently of late, but without success. Finally, in desperation, he said, vehemently, “Mr, Swift, I must insist that you make some definite arrangement with me.” “Why, surely,” replied Mr. Swift, most agreeably. “Let's see. Well, suppose you call every Thursday mornin; —Harper's Mag ee Pinch, use ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE Grown old in the service of his master and mistress, James was a privileged re- tainer. He was waiting at tabie one day, when a guest asked for a fish-fork, but the re- quest was ignored. Then the hostess noticed the episode, and remarked, in a most peremptory manner: “James, Mrs. Jones hasn't any fish- fork. Get her one at once!” “Madam,” came the emphatic reply, “last time Mrs. Jones dined here we lost a fish-fork.’ James has now been relegated to the garden.—Tit-Bits. Translated The Spanish military attaché, Col. Don Nicolas Urculla y Cereijo, said at a din- ner in Washington: “Yes, Spanish titles are very, very elaborate. I heard recently of an Amer- ican girl who wrote home from San Se- bastian to her millionaire father: “Well, I'm engaged to three dukes, es, seven counts, four barons, “*What on earth do you mean?’ her father cabled. “*Don't get excited,’ she cabled back. ‘It's all one man. He's a Spaniard.’” —Philadelphia Bulletin, “Wuen I bought this car the salesman harped on its beautiful lines.” “Yes?” “ But he failed to mention that what I would need most would be a towing line.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. ‘The American Express Travel Department Areecscrs A CRUISE TO THE WEST INDIES visiting Cuba, Jamaica, Panama, Costa Ri 24 from Winter in the Under the American Flag. Numerous shore excursions,