Life, 1916-11-30 · page 13 of 42
Life — November 30, 1916 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page consists primarily of **vintage advertisements** from the early 20th century, presented as humorous fake ads titled "Advertisements You Have Never Seen." The satirical ads mock contemporary products and social conventions: - **"Early Riser Dress Shirts"** jokes about men's fashion - **"Incompetent Servant"** ad satirizes domestic help shortages - **"Eternal No-Hole Socks"** humorously addresses a common complaint about hosiery - **"Cat's-Claw Safety Razor"** pokes fun at shaving products The page also includes a serious editorial piece titled **"A Declaration of Independence"** that critiques germ theory and medical superstitions, arguing against unnecessary medical interventions. Below that is a brief essay on **"Selfishness,"** discussing how self-regard differs from genuine selflessness. The humor relies on exaggerated period advertising tropes and domestic frustrations familiar to contemporary readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE Advertisements You Have Never Seen UP DEFOE, Tt LARK Basi RISER DRESS SHIRTS. “The Shirt Wifi The Non-stop Bosom A Declaration of Independence \WHEN in the course of medical events it becomes necessary for a people to upset the superstitions which have enslaved them to a particular theory of the cause and cure of dis- ease, and to assume among the healthy nations of the earth that sensible and sanitary station to which the laws of nature and of nature's Good would quickly bring them if not interfered with and impeded by serums, nostrums and bacteriological deliriums, a decent respect for the foolish prejudices of mankind requires that we should de- clare the causes that impel us to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evi- dent: that all germs are created equal ; that they are endowed by the theorists with certain marvellous powers, among which are disease, death and the dis- semination of unhappiness; that, to avoid these, serums are among men deriving their magical ef- CArs-CLAW SAFETY RAZOR, theNickel plafedo SSAacre, Cufs Oy Everythin Dal Tela $ fects from the overheated imaginations of laboratory experimenters to whom their invention and sale are very profit- able; and that when the people become wise enough to see that the germ theory and the serum theory are do- ing more harm than good to mankind, it is their duty to throw them both out of the window and, in their place, "OhBy The Way.James Telephone For Two MoreDozen Pairs OF - ETERNAL NO—HOLE substitute theories which have a greater proportion of reason and common sense. E. 0. J. Selfishness T is curious how little selfishness is understood. It is generally assumed to be an intense regard for one’s self, when in reality it is a supreme disre- gard. Jnselfishness, on the other hand, is a higher regard for one's self. Selfishness is only a form of destruc- tion. It is produced by soul avarice. What we put into ourselves draws no interest. It is constantly deteriorating in value. Selfishness is an ingrowing short-sightedness. Selfishness is also a form of sincerity. Selfish people de- ceive nobody. They wear their se!fish- ness on their sleeves. Their sincerity about it is something so apparent as al- most to cause a sense of admiration for its genuineness. comicbooks.com