Life, 1916-11-16 · page 13 of 46
Life — November 16, 1916 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical retelling of the biblical story, reframed as political allegory. "King Woodrow" (President Woodrow Wilson) commands that Daniel be cast into a den with lions representing government bureaucracy—specifically the "lion Ignorance," "lion Armor Trust," and "lion Discipline." The satire criticizes Wilson's educational policies and control over schools. Daniel prophesies against ignorance in the Fleet (Navy), and ultimately triumphs through faith and righteousness. The lions—representing institutional failures and corporate interests—are defeated. The illustration shows a figure (Daniel) confronting a menacing lion. This mocks Wilson's attempts to reform education and military establishments, suggesting his policies created monsters rather than solving problems. The piece critiques government overreach in schools.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Daniel in the Lions’ Den 'HEN King Woodrow commanded, and they brought Daniel and cast him into the den of lions, And the lions were exceeding fierce. There were the lion Rum and the lion Ig- norance and the lion Armor Trust and the lion Discipline. Great and furious beasts were these, that made as though they would devour Josephus and crunch his bones in sunder. , “GET THEE GONE!” And Daniel threw himself upon his knees thrice daily at the window that looks toward Jerusalem, and the Angel of the Lord came and dwelt with Daniel, and he was not afraid. And Daniel spake to the lion Rum and ‘said: “Get thee gone, cruel beast that devoureth my children of the Fleet. Hence! Depart!” And the lion Rum was sore afrighted and slunk into the corner of the den, its tail be- tween its legs. Then Daniel sent to each of the Captains of the Fleet, and ordered that all the cut-glass decanters ‘ and wineglasses be brought, and that these be hurled after the retreating beast, and the lion ran and returned not again. Then Daniel summoned all the of- « ficers of the Fleet, and spake to them and said: “Why stand ye all the day idle? See ye not the lion Ignorance, that doth devour the children of the Fleet? Hie then to the classroom and open schools, and set up black-boards, to solve sums, and teach the three ‘R's’ I appoint you henceforth “LIFE: teachers of the children of the Fleet, and you shall work long hours in the classroom, and at night ye shall set your mark upon examination papers, and let me not hear henceforth of any child of God in the Fleet that falleth below seventy-five per cent. in reading, writing or arithmetic because of your re- missness. Go to it, then! Get busy!” And the lion Ignorance, when he heard what Daniel spake to the officers of the Fleet, trem- bled and was sore afraid. Then Daniel lifted his voice and prophesied: “There shall be no more ignorance in the Fleet, praise the Lord, Jehovah! rance! Get thee gone!" turned tail and fled. And the lion Armor Trust was ex- ceeding wroth, and roared at Daniei, and made as if he would devour him. But Daniel threw himself thrice before the Lord, and rose and washed his feet, and anointed his head with oil, and girdled himself about with a Gov- ernment Armor Factory Bill; Daniel seized his sword and buckler and set the helmet of righteousness upon his head. And Daniel opened his mouth and spake to the lion Armor Trust and said: “Get thee gone, foul beast! Why troublest thou my chil- dren of the Fleet? Lo, I will build in thy place many government factories where deserving Democrats shall fiad jobs. Go! Thou shalt have no more contracts! I will, for the time, protect my ships with Bibles instead of armor plate.” And the lion Armor Trust growled between his teeth, but turned and fled. And the lion Discipline alone stood between Daniel and the children of the Fleet. And Daniel's heart yearned sorely for his children. Then Daniel called to him a coal-heaver and a deck- swabber from among his children, and threw his arms about their necks and wept. And Daniel spake these words: “Lo, my heart has been sore troubled about you, my children. The lion Dis- cipline hath dealt so hardly with you.” Then Daniel, with his arms still about the necks of his children, turned boldly and faced a camera with a smile of infinite tenderness and compassion, and the children trembled and looked sheepish; but the lion Discipline licked his chops and lashed his tail, and then ran and hid himself. Then King Woodrow wrote wonder- ful notes in wonderful language unto and . Shame upon thee, Igno- And Ignorance THANKSGIVING “TAM TRULY THANKFUL THAT MY NOSE IS BENT, THAT MY EYES ARE CROOKED, THAT I AM BALD, AND THAT I HAVE BUCK-TEETH ; FOR PEOPLE NEVER FORGET MY FACE, AND THAT HELPS ME IN MY BUSINES: all the peoples and nations that dwelt in all the earth: “Peace be multiplied unto you. I make a decree that in all the domin- ions of my kingdom men shall tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for he is the living God and his dominion shall be even unto the end.” William H. Hudson,