Life, 1916-10-19 · page 28 of 42
Life — October 19, 1916 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three short humorous pieces satirizing World War I British society: **"All Very Busy"** jokes about military service priorities. A nobleman's daughter reveals her three brothers' statuses: the oldest has the Victoria Cross (Britain's highest military honor), the second is twice-wounded at the front, but the youngest—seventeen-year-old Harold—stays home "minding India" (managing colonial affairs). The satire mocks how maintaining the empire was considered equally important to fighting the war. **"Taking a Chance"** is a Scottish dialect joke about a dying man's practicality. Andy worries his widow cannot remarry respectably in heaven if still married. His solution: marry a non-Christian so the marriage won't "count" in the afterlife. The humor relies on Scottish working-class pragmatism clashing with religious logic. **"Growing"** is a doctor's joke: when a friend congratulates him on expanding practice, the young doctor reveals his patient gained ten pounds—implying the patient is getting sicker/needier, thus more lucrative. The page also contains a Perrier water advertisement and publishing information for *Life* magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘aie SCISSORS } AuT NULLUs Ata house-party at a nobleman’s coun- try house a guest said to the little daugh- ter of the host: “Your oldest brother is at the front, of course?” “Oh, yes; he’s got the Victoria Cross,” she answered, “And your second brother—how about him?” “He's at the front, too. He's been twice wounded.” “And is your youngest brother, the seventeen-ycar-old Harold, also in the trenches? She shook her head. No,” she said. “He's minding India."—London Opinion. “ Bein’ contented wif yoh lot,” said Uncle en, “ain’ no excuse foh not hustlin’ to git de mortgage off'n it.” —Washington Star. Voice from Next Room: KEN, SIR, I'M CERTAIN MY Si is NOT IN Taking a Chance Andy Donaldson, a well-known char- acter of Glasgow, lay on his deathbed. “T canna’ leave ye thus, Nancy,” the old Scotsman wailed. “ Ye're ower auld to work, an’ ye couldna’ live in the work- hoose. Gin I dee, ye maun marry anither man, wha'll keep ye in comfort in yer auld age.” nay, Andy,” answered the good spouse; “I couldna’ marry anither man, fer whit wull I dae wi’ twa husbands in heaven?” Andy pondered over this, but suddenly his face brightened. “T ha’e it, Nancy!” he cried. “Ye ken auld John Clemmens? He's a kind man, but he’s no’ a member o' the kirk. He likes ye, Nancy, an’ gin ye'll marry him, ‘twill be a’ the same in heaven. John’s no’ a Christian, and he’s no’ likely to get there."—Argonaut. Growing Friexp: I understand that your prac- lice is getting larger. Youxc Doctor: That's true. My patient has gained nearly ten pounds in the past few weeks. —Boston Evening Transcript. You MUST BE MIS- Live is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S. Patent in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Office. $5.00 a year Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, $2 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The text and illustrations in Lure are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Br Live is for sale oy all newsdealers in Great Britain ‘and ray be obtained from book- sellers. in all the principal cities in. the world. ‘The foregn fade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. Nos coctabation Gil be: reterned. aniest accompanied by" stamped and addressed envelope. Live does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unio- licited contributions. , Notice of change of address should reach this office ten days prior to the date of issue to be affected. The enthusiasm France aspired Lafayette is by Perrier ee RAL (O the priceless artistic and epicurean gifts + which France has lavished upon the world she has now added that characteristically French product — Perrier Water. It possesses natural brilliance and sparkle, and unrivalled subtle delicacy. A glass ot Perrier alone or with a slice of lemon in the early morning is invaluable in gout and uric acid troubles. Odtainadie at all high-class Hotels, Restaurants and Grocers. Peanier, Lt. 313 Longacre Bldg. Cor. Broadway & 42d St.. New York. TABLE WATER CE PERRTER, Gh Maree “ SCOTTY IS A LUCKY DOG, HE HAS JUST INHERITED A LOT OF BONES FROM 11S FATHER WITH A CHART SHOWING WHERE THEY ARE BURIED,” \ the talk