Life, 1916-09-28 · page 39 of 41
Life — September 28, 1916 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines literary content with advertising, typical of early 20th-century magazines. **The Story Section** ("Magazine Stories I Have Never Finished") is satirical commentary on overwrought literary fiction. It mocks melodramatic short stories popular in pulp magazines—featuring clichéd elements like swooning heroines, sinister villains ("Max, the floorwalker"), exotic settings (Malay shores), and pretentious narrative devices (internal monologues, atmospheric descriptions). The title itself signals the joke: these stories are so tedious that readers abandon them unfinished. **The Cartoon** (bottom left) shows "The Optimist," illustrating the magazine's satirical bent. A figure recommends hitting harder to distract from toothache pain—absurd logic presented as wisdom. **The Advertisement** for Heinz Spaghetti occupies the right side, showing a tin with pasta being spooned out. This represents the era when canned, ready-to-eat convenience foods were novel marketing innovations, marketed as modern progress. The juxtaposition suggests Life's role as entertainment and consumer commentary for educated, middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LURE: Magazine Stories | Have Never Finished T was half past four of a sweltering July day. The hot, stuffy air hing in sluggish clouds, stirred hy the throngs in Feigenspan’s Bargain Base- ment. Maisie’s slim body ached in every muscle; her face was drawn and lined; her 1 seemed splitting. “Gawd!” she said, “I wisht it was over!" “Ab there, kiddo!” said a voice. It was Max, the floorwalker. His face was fat, oily, bestial— We stirred uneasily in our chairs. “Boy!” said McPherson, irrits “another dhoc “It was a night like this—” broke out the Kid, suddenly, and then stopped Far below us the sea, phosphorescent, opaline, broke in y little waves on the shingle. A Malay grated on the shore.“ Oh—ooooah—bujubbec—" sang a distant wailing voice. Then silence... Over our heads the punkahs grated interminably. “It was a night like this. Tt was in the autumn of 1906, or, to be exact, in March, 1894, that I first met Tewksbury Stanhope. Though he was a sophomore in Harvard, the heir to millions, a member of Pons Asinor- um and a Hoof and Claw man, and I a mere instructor in physics, he took a strange liking to me. He used to drop into my room frequently about two in the morning, after a merry eve- ning in one of the palatial Harvard Absinthe Clubs, and talk for long hours of his inner life and of his great schemes for regenerating the world. “ Micky,” he would say, “the whole damn business is wrong .. M. Bishop. The Optimist: THat’s RIGHT; MIT HARDER, MA—THEN 1 CAN'T FREL MY TOOTHACHE SO MUCH. It comes to you 16 OL.NET WEAVE. ‘ ? rrr an 1 INCE we started to cook Spaghetti in the Heinz kitchens four years ago the demand for Heinz Spaghetti has increased with such rapidity that it has become a great national dish. Every family that once tries it will surely make it a regular dish. Ready-cooked, with the delicious Heinz tomato sauce and cheese, it makes an appeal to everyone’s appetite. Wholesome, nutritious. It is to be found in Spaghetti comes to you ready cooked with Tomato Sauce and Cheese All Heinz goods sold in Canada are made in Canada PETER J, CAREY, PRINTI® comicbooks.com