Life, 1916-09-14 · page 8 of 38
Life — September 14, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page features a poem by Sir Josephus Porter Daniels, K.C.B., titled "Solo from the new Gilbertian opera 'U.S.S. Pantalette.'" The satirical poem mocks what appears to be Josephus Daniels (Secretary of the Navy under Woodrow Wilson), presenting him as self-aggrandizing and absurdly authoritarian—boasting of his rise from avoiding "the raging Tar" to becoming "Dictator of the U.S.N." The accompanying photograph labeled "Great Americans" shows Mrs. K. Pushing Clymer, noted as appearing in papers "one hundred and twenty-two times in the last twelve months"—satirizing celebrity culture and media obsession. Below, a brief column titled "Little Speeches for Great Occasions" offers humorous advice for the wealthy inheriting fortunes. The overall effect satirizes political pomposity, naval bureaucracy, and American social pretension of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
436 Sir Josephus Porter Daniels, . K.C.B. (Solo from the new Gilbertian opera, “USS. Pantalette") W' T was a lad a kindly fate Preserved my morals in the Old North State. I shunned the flagon and the vile cigar, But I sometimes went a-boating on the raging Tar. T went out boating every now and then, So now I am Dictator of the U. S. N. I went out boating every now and then, So now I am Dictator of the U. S. N. For rectitude I won such repute That my parents sent me to the Institute. At sums and spellin’ 1 was always quick, And TI studied readin’, writin’ and arith metic. : 1 gained such knowledge in scholastic halls now I'm That giving lessons to the T gained such knowledge (as 1 said be- fore) That they put Ed-i-tor. I served my party and I voted straight, And 1 rendered yeoman service to our candidate. Who wins in politics shall have the jam, So now 1 boss the battleships of Uncle Sam. me on a paper as the Ob, under my true democratic rule Each superdreadnought is a grammar school Our uniforms are a sea-shell pink, And lemonade with seltzer is the only drink ; And the captains mess on pork and beans, For I'm the High Commander of the submarines, Away with your Naval Boards and such With their brass-bound captains, for they know too much! They sip their wine and they pufl their weeds, But they haven't any notion what a navy needs; For they never edited their party sheets— So I'm the Grand Panjandrum of the Nation's Fleets! Arthur Guiterman, HEN Candidate Hughes speaks of the present campaign as perhaps “ the’ most critical” since Joes he mean just critical, or hypercritical, or hypocritical ? GREAT AMERICANS MRS. K. PU Little Speeches for Great Occasions Upon Being Left a Million Dollars 'ORMER Acqua Relatives: I have just inherited a lion dollars Therefore it will be quite impossible for me to keep the friends I had formerly, As for my rela- lives, espe ly those living out of town, I promise to enub them consistently and on sight. The only real joy in having intances, Friends and HING CLYMER, WHO HAS HAD HER HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO. TIMES IN THE LA ME IN THE PAPER THREE oT TWELVE MONTHS a great deal of money 1s that it permits one to be a snob. Snobs are indispens- able to the world at large and to the United States of America in particular, I will endeavor henceforth to go my imrose way, cultivating those who are richer than T and eutting those who are poorer, world without end. I thank you, ‘OR WALL STREE a shp ‘twixt the stock and the tip, comicbooks.com