Life, 1916-09-07 · page 37 of 40
Life — September 7, 1916 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** with a satirical poem as secondary content. The main satire is "Our Plain Water Navy," a humorous poem mocking Secretary of the Navy Josephus Daniels's order removing cut-glass dishware from naval vessels—an apparent temperance measure to discourage drinking among sailors. The poem personifies glassware (punch-bowls, decanters, pickle dishes, pitchers) as being "banished" from ships, with only olive dishes exempted because olives symbolize peace rather than alcohol. The joke: Daniels's reform is presented as comically ineffectual moralizing. The poem's tone is light mockery of prohibition-era naval policy, portraying the Secretary as a "tarheel" (North Carolinian) killjoy trying to reform sailors through removing temptation. The page also includes a brief satirical "Both Sides" section contrasting who opposes versus supports "a Millennium"—the wealthy, professionals, and clergy oppose it, while only "our dumb friends" (animals) favor it—a cynical jab at human hypocrisy. The remainder consists of period advertisements for perfume, springs, and Listerine antiseptic.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LAER E Quen; LCS Vek elles Flower of the Moss Strewn Woods Quelques Violettes has the inimitable odor of real violets and their surroundings— the luscious scent of the damp earth and moss-srewn woods —is in- | | finitely detcse and te ing Other Delightful Hoot L ELGUES FLEURS E EVETTE VETTE DRI COEUR DE SRANNETTE Saogie bala, Se. cent pPARe &: & TILFoRD Our Plain Water Navy Secretary Daniels has ordered off of naval vessels all cut-glass ware except olive dishes and hand mir- rors.—Press reports. VAUNT, you parlous punch-bowls, Get off our naval ships, No longer shall you scrunch souls By tempting them to nips. And, say, you dire decanters, Containers of the juice Which makes the uprights slanters, Go get you to the deuce. And, O, you pickle dishes, Get out and go ashore, Our tars, by pious wishes, Are pickled never more. tests assure triple advanta- ges safety, com- lort, economy. DETROIT STEEL PRODUCTS CO. Detroit Michigan o © Outdoor Days ie in the open suggests many uses for Listerine — for skin irritations—to pre- vent infection of broken blisters, cuts, small wounds and insect bites. Listerine is excellent for purposes of per- sonal hygiene. It is an effective deo- dorant—a cooling, re- freshing, after-bath application The Safe Antiseptic is a Superior Dentifrice. It can reach every surface of the teeth because it is liquid. It can protect every surface of the teeth because it is antiseptic. Manufactured only by LAMBERT PHARMACAL COMPANY St. Louis, Missouri Vamoose, you cut-glass pitchers, Because, if you refuse, Those “navy sherry” switchers May fill you up with booze. But, say, you olive platters, You do not have to go, Because in peaceful matters The olive branch may grow. Here's to our Secretary, A tarheel of the A pilot, wise and wary, Who steers away from bars. . W. J) Lampton, Both Sides REFERENDUM being taken in the matter of the Millennium the final vote read: Against a Millennium: Rich men, poor men, beggar-men, thieves, lawyers, soldiers, journal- ists, philanthropists, ga rage proprietors, insurance agents, and the organized and sporadic clergy For a Millennium: “ Our dumb friends.” comicbooks.com