Life, 1916-09-07 · page 10 of 40
Life — September 7, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main cartoon titled "Casting Bet Parson" depicts a small man presenting something to a large elephant wearing an umbrella. The caption reads: "G.O.P.: What's the trouble, Charlie? / 'It's too shallow, Pearlie.'" This appears to be Republican Party satire (G.O.P. = Grand Old Party). The elephant is the Republican Party symbol; the small figure likely represents a Republican politician or leader. The joke suggests the party's platform or foundation is "too shallow"—a criticism of Republican political substance or depth of policy. The surrounding text includes "Millennial Musings," satirical poetry about an idealized future millennium, and unrelated brief humor pieces. The cartoon's specific political context is unclear without dating information, but it mocks Republican Party inadequacy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
392 Millennial Musings 'HUS, having ceased to celebrate Will Shakespeare’s third centen- nium, We turn again to contemplate The heralded Millennium ; That unimaginable time Of prettiness and purity, Devoid of folly, woe and crime, Now wrapped in vague Futurity. We'll all be agriculturists Or artists, then, or artizans ; We won't have any pugilists, Nor politics, nor partizans. We'll all have honor, wealth and fame, And happiness—a slew of it! Should you and T demand the same Distinction, there'll be two of it. There won't be any wars, they say, With nothing left to fight about ; And journalists will fade away For lack of crimes to write about Forgetting colors, castes and creeds, Each white and black and yellow man Will spend his life in noble deeds To elevate his fellow-man. Yes, love will rule, and lots of that; No feuds the world will damn again, Once more the dog will love the cat, The wolf will love the lamb again. And man will love the nimble flea And other pests phlebotomous ; The wasp will love the humble bee, The hawk the hippopotamus. Enough! A sinner dare not paint That golden age Millennial. Then truth will never know a taint, And bliss will be perennial. And men in great fraternities And maids in sweet sororitie: Will carol, “ How superne it i: Or grumble, “ What a bore it is!” Arthur Guiterman, OST: Johnson is receiving con- gratulations this morning. Parker: A girl or a boy? Post: It's a Ford. G. O. P.: WHAT'S THE TROUBLE, CHARLIE? “It's T00 SHALLOW, DEARIE,” The B. of H. HIS is the season when boards of health are most actively engaged in justif ing their existence. A board of health is a local institution engaged in dis- proving that clause in the Constitution: which modestly suggests that we are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The business of the board of health is to promote disease, terrorize innocent mothers and create epidemics. If there were no diseases or panics the board of health would have to shut up. These things are therefore necessary for the support of its members. When everybody is healthy and nothing has happened the board of health is the only anxious one. It realizes that something must be done; arrests a milkman, gets articles published in the papers, and proceeds to scare everybody within an inch of their lives, Then the board of health sits back, smiles and says: “ You can’t get rid of me!” OUNTRY HOTEL CLERK (to bell hop): Look in the poker room and see if Colonel Slocum is ahead! If he is, page him, and say he is wanted at the desk! He owes-me seven dollars!