Life, 1916-08-24 · page 8 of 42
Life — August 24, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a satirical illustration titled "YOU CAN'T DO IT, WOODROW" accompanying an article called "Little Speeches for Great Occasions." The cartoon depicts a figure (likely representing Woodrow Wilson, given the caption) struggling comically with an oversized diploma or degree marked "1916," while other figures assist or interfere with the effort. The visual joke suggests Wilson cannot accomplish something—possibly referring to his educational or political ambitions. The article below is a mock-serious "speech" criticizing university education, sarcastically suggesting that rather than valuable knowledge, universities teach impractical idealism. The satire targets the disconnect between academic learning and real-world practicality, a recurring theme in Life's commentary on American institutions during the World War I era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
304 Life’s Fresh Air Fund Inclusive of 1915, Live's Fexsi Ate Funo has been in operation twenty-nine years. In that time it has expended $157,495.60 and has given a fortnight in the country to 37,278 poor city children. The fund is supported entirely by bequests and voluntary contributions, ich are ace knowledged in this column. Previously acknowledged + $6,696.92 M. A. Pn 00 5.00 $.00 100.00 George Wood ‘MeArthur. Rowena and Donald, Harwood “17 Battery Place......++ ee Wm. P. Clyde... Memory A. R. Win, 0, Morse. ment given by Marjory White, Elma and Virginia Jungren,, Bea: trice Page. Anna Bright, Vivian Hartman, Edith Cook, Iris Veyer, Alan and Billie Burroughs, Alan Schlessinger, Almon Page, Edward Doane, Hertrand Hart nd Harry’ McConnell . Walter B. Sanders. and “Baby ". mpton 15.00 20.00 25.00 $7,120.36 ACKNOWLEDGED WITH THANKS. Twelve games of “Serso” from F. C. Fockelmann, New York. Little Speeches for Great Occasions Upon Being Graduated from a Modern University ROFESSORS, Regents of the Uni- versity and Members of the Fkint- fellow Foundation: As I stand here with the coveted sheepskin in my grasp, a feeling of great bewilderment steals over me. I have spent four years of my life in this institution, and all I get out of it is a piece of parchment tied with a blue ribbon. When I entered the university I was a bright, hopeful, normal boy with a real eagerness to learn. I had an over- weening desire to take the world apart and see what made it tick. Instead, I was made to dissect passages in the ‘aery Queene and read thirty lines of Milton a day. As a consequence I de- spise the Faery Queene and dread Mil- ton. These two emotions are the only results I have had from my college education, which cost my parents be- tween five and ten thousand dollars to obtain for me. I realize, however, that any real in- YOU CAN'T po IT, WoopROW in the real affairs of life The Flintfellow struction would be impossible. Foundation, I know, controls the money that controls the institu- tions that control the thought of the country. It would be ridiculous to suppose that this Foundation, headed as it is by a man whose power depends upon the public ignorance, would ever consent to genuine education upon the part of the rising generation. Still, I wish I had gone into a shoe store. There are more facts in shoes than there are in sheepskins. I thank you.