Life, 1916-08-17 · page 30 of 38
Life — August 17, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features several short humorous anecdotes typical of early 20th-century American satire magazines: **"Not Far from Right"** mocks schoolgirl logic—a history teacher asks why a great man was buried in Westminster Abbey; a student answers literally: "because he was dead." **"Unprofitable"** satirizes urban ignorance. A city visitor, seeing a small calf, naively asks a farmer if keeping such a small cow is profitable—missing the obvious point that calves grow into larger animals. The Russian immigrant anecdote at bottom ridicules both anti-immigrant prejudice (assumptions about Jewish cleanliness) and stereotyped dialect humor. When ordered to bathe, the character responds he's "never been arrested before"—implying police stations typically subject immigrants to such humiliating treatment. The page is primarily **advertising**—Egyptian Deities cigarettes, Wilson whiskey, Pompeian olive oil, Bell-ans antacid, and Gordon beverages dominate. The humor pieces serve as editorial filler between advertisements, typical of Life's format during this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FO OLIS Hh | CONTEMFO ARIES Laan Not Far from Right The day was hot, and the sleepy class found it difficult to concentrate its atten- tion on its tasks, though the history mis- tress did her best to make the lesson in- teresting. “Now, girls,” said she at last, “ean you tell me why the great man was buried in Westminster Abbey?” There was a long silence. At last a girl put up her hand. “ Because,” she answered, solemnly and impressively, “he was dead!” —Tit-Bits. Stlced Oranges with adash of Alsbott’s Bitters are appettzi and healthful Ble of rx by mall, 25 cts. in stainp C.W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, M Unprofitable A six-weeks-old calf was nibbling at ind was viewed in ites by the city girl. “Tell me,” she said, turning impulsive- ly to her hostess, “ does it really pay you to keep as small a cow as that?” —Harper's Magazine. ass in the yard, silence for some GORDON BEVERAGES—GIN FIZZ, Direc- tions: 1 teaspoonful Sugar, Juice of 1 Lemon, 1 dash of Cream, drink of Gordon Dry Gin, fill glass with fine ice, Shake, strain and fill glass ‘with Fizz | Water and serve. Formula for another beverage will follow next week. EGYPTIAN DEITIES “The Utmost in Than Endor Stnargyre. ros Makers of the lighest tn co Eqypton Cgorvttes i the c a yacht for the summe “Won't that be pretty expensive?” “Not as long as we confine ourselves to thinking about it.” —Cincinnati Enquirer. RACAKDE Makes The Perfect Cocktall, Rickey or Mighball. Try Itt Rector (going his rounds): Fine pig that, Mr. Dibbles; uncommonly fine! ONTEMPLATIVE Vittacek: Ah, yes, sir; if we was only all of us as fit to die as him, sir!—Tit-Bits. The bigot has lost caste in America. It is the moderate man who has authority—the man who knows how to use and not misuse. You will find thousands of moderate men using a wonderfully mild and mellow Whiskey—Wilson— Real Wilson—That’s All! The Whiskey for which we invented the Non-Refillable Bottle FREE CLUB RECIPES—Free booklet of famous club recipes for mized drinks. Address Wilson, 13 E. 31st St, N.Y. That's All! BELL- -ANS - einostis Removes Indigestion. One package 25c at all druggists. proves fi A Russtax Jew was arrested in Bos- ton not long ago, and when he was taken to the police station his condition was found to be so unclean that he was or- dered to take a bath “Vot! Go in de vater?” he asked “Yes, take a bath. You need it. How long is it since you had a bath, anyway? With his hands aligned upward and outward he answered, “T never was ar- rested before! "—Everybody's.