Life, 1916-08-17 · page 3 of 38
Life — August 17, 1916 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Life magazine page is primarily **advertising**, not satire or political commentary. The dominant feature is a Westinghouse Electric advertisement promoting their "Starting, Lighting & Ignition Equipment" for automobiles. The ad shows a man hand-cranking a Model T Ford, with text urging readers to "Stop Doing This"—the implied complaint being that manual cranking was dangerous, labor-intensive, and unreliable. The Westinghouse system promised electric starting that worked in any weather and eliminated cranking entirely, at a price of $85 complete with battery. Additional advertisements on the page include Krementz (collar buttons) and an Edwards garage ($69.50). The page also contains a "Religion as It Is" column with satirical religious definitions, but this is standard magazine filler, not the primary content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
the roy Religion as It Is HURCH—A place one can go to think over his affairs without be- ing distracted. Sermon—A ‘necessary part of the program, appreciated inversely to its length, . Pastor—A good shepherd who can- not get away from the notion that all men are sheep and must be led. Bible—The greatest book ever wr ten by man, but which has much of effectiveness’ destroyed by a blind in- sistence upon its infallibility. Orthodoxy—What somebody a thou- sand years ago said is true. Heresy—What somebody to-day says is true. Tolerance—That which we grant to others, but expect them to grant to us. Sin—A mistake made by another. Choir—Fine clothes set to music. Pew—A reserved seat where we con- sider that our ticket entitles us to kick like the devil when somebody else sits in it. Collection—Something” we give to because somebody else is watching us. Dogma—A suit of clothes for the mind, to fit which the mind must be cut down before heaven can be gained. Christianity — The world’s greatest } inspiration dimmed hy bright men’s , minds for their own profit or satisfac- | } s do not tion Hell—A place to which nobody ex- pects to go. Patient: But, doctor, you are not ask- ing five dollars for merely taking a cin- der out of my eye? Sreciatist: My charge is | for removing a foreign substance from the cornea.—Rehoboth Sunday Herald. no. Hot Weather and Your Collar Batton How is your collar button acting these hot days? Does it still look like real gold? Hasit discolored your skin? Blackened your collar band? If so, it is not a Krementz 14 Kt. olled Gold Plate Collar Button in which the gold deen hammered to make it tough, All for 2c. In solid 10 Kt. gold, $1 each; 14 Kt. $1.50 each. Sold under this guarantee: “If damaged from any @ new button FREE. Send for free booklet—buy the style you select at your deale: KREMENTZ & COMPANY 95 Chestnut Street, Newark, N. J. Fireproof. . Portable. ‘All styies and sizes portante ‘buildings. patal tor ostrated catalog. The Edwards Mfz. Co. [Bst86 Eccleston Ave. Clactanatt, O- Price: $85 complete, with battery Stop Doing This The annoyance, the labor and the danger of cranking a Ford are all removed by the Westinghouse Starting and Lighting System. Starts the car in any kind of weather at a touch. Makes it possible for wife or daughter to drive in comfort. Provides bright steady lights at any engine-speed. These burn when the engine is stopped, if desired. The Westinghouse is a 12-volt system, producing a cranking- speed of 175 revolutions a minute. This assures a quick start even on cold days. Adjustable brackets, compensating sprocket and a driving chain three tons strong insure freedom from chain troubles. There are No gears to get out of order. The nearest Westinghouse distributor will tell you all about this equipment. WESTINGHOUSE ELECTRIC & MANUFACTURING COMPANY Automodile Equipment Department SHADYSIDE WORKS PITTSRURGH. PA. Distributors: Atlanta, Alesander.Seewald Co. rt 0, Motor Car Seppty Ca land, The Auto Electric Equip ee WESTINGHOUSE ELECTRIC & Sup Co Kanes City, Mo, The Equipment Unie Rock. Ark., Rese-Lyon Hard re C3. Loulgritie, “Ky ok ‘Sepply Co. Pencils PENCIL is an ever-absent help in time of trouble. A man will carry a pencil for months with religious: zeal, and upon the day he forgets it he will need it more than he ever needed it before in his life. When you are willing to sharpen a pencil for any woman, it is cither because you are in love with her, or too scared to rebel, or because you think there is a chance of her sharpening it herself. Pencils are soft, hard and medium. When a pencil is too soft it breaks. too hard you can't write with it. When it is medium the man has made a mi given you one too soft or hard. To keep your pencil with you so you will always be sure to have it, get an iron band riveted around your neck or waist and chain the pencil to it. When it is and comicbooks.com