Life, 1916-08-17 · page 13 of 38
Life — August 17, 1916 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main illustration depicts "A. Doyle Conan [sic], who has a record of fourteen highballs in an hour and a half" under the heading "Great Americans." This is a satirical jab at the famous author Arthur Conan Doyle, mocking him for his heavy drinking rather than celebrating his literary achievements. The cartoon shows him seated among admirers, holding a glass, implying his reputation extended to prodigious alcohol consumption—likely a reference to Prohibition-era concerns about drinking. The page also includes a "Cradle Song for Anti-Preparedness Children" (a pacifist lullaby) and writing advice mocking commercial magazine formulas. The lower section advertises "Scandal" publications.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GREAT AMERICANS A. BOYLE DOWLE, WHO HAS A RECORD OF FOURTEEN HIGHBALLS IN AN HOUR AND A HALF 269 Cradle Song for Anti-Prepared- ness Children LEEP, baby, sleep! No war near us can creep; For father is willing to arbitrate, And mother refuses to altercate! Sleep, baby, sleep! Sleep, baby, sleep! Why dost thou moan and weep? If foes approach by air or boat, We'll make them cringe with a lucid note! Sleep, baby, sleep! Sleep, baby, sleep! We're all as helpless as sheep; But we won't be hit if we have no gun: A thing like that is never done! Sleep, baby; sleep! KL. R. Rules for Successful Short-Story Whiting NEVER; by any chance, tell the truth about your characters. Lie gracefully about the great facts of life: birth, marriage, love, death, ete. If you want humor, borrow it from one of the accepted sources—O. Henry, Mark Twain, etc. Take your plots from de Maupassant — exclusively. The leading magazines will have no other. Avoid all unpleasant subjects. Com- pose your sentences as though ad- dressing a baby six months old or, bet- ter still, the parents of a baby six months old. End happily. If your story has a moral, let it be a respectable moral. Call on the editor, Praise his cravat. Sell story for two hundred dollars. Repeat ad lib. comicbooks.com