Life — July 13, 1916 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

74 sAUT SCISSORS AvT NULLus Not to Be Beaten A Highlander who prided himself on being able to play any tune on the pipes perched himself on the side of one of his native hills one Sunday morning and commenced blowing for all he was worth. Presently the minister came along and, going up to MacDougall with the inten: tion of severely reprimanding him, asked in a very harsh voice, “ MacDougall, do you know the Ten Commandments?” MacDougall scratched his chin for a moment, and then, in an equally harsh voice, said: “D'ye think you've beat me? Just whistle the first three or four bars, and TW hae a try at it.” —Youth's Companion, “OT cowny, I'm tired 1" “There you go! You're tired! Here I be a-standin’ over a hot stove all day, an’ you wurkin’ in a nice cool sewer!” —Masses, WHEN THE FOKCE OF GRAVITY 18.16: Misplacing the Blame “Q-0-00-oh! Bo-o-o-ho-o0! ” As the childish wail rang through the house the anxious mother sprang to her feet. Rushing into the hall, she met her little daughter coming in from the gar- den and carrying a broken doll by the leg “What's the matter, darling?” she asked tenderly. “Q-o-oh, m-o-ther,” howled the child, “Will broken my do-oll!" “The naughty boy! How did he do it?” “T—I—I hit him on the head wiv it! was the slow response. —Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph, “You say the officer arrested you while you were quietly minding your own busi ness?" Yes, your honor. He caught me sud denly by the coat-collar and threatened to truncheon me unless I accompanied him quietly to the station. “You were peaceably attending to your own business, making no noise or disturbance of any kind? “None whatever, sir. “Tt scems very strange. business?" “T'm a burgla: What is your ‘—Tit-Bits. ive. is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from Live's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, F. C. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by ‘stamped and addressed envelope. Live does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of wes licited contributions, Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. = multancously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessi $3.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year: to Canada, 2 cents, Single cur- rent copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three’ months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues pre to 1910 out of print. The tert and illustrations in Live are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights orply to Live, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E re is published every Thursday, Great Britain C., England. France Lafayette i671 by Perrier. errier RENCH NATURAy SPARKLING TABLE WATER MONG the things which Nature perfects and Man cannot “improve,” such as the rainbow, the perfume of flowers, or the laughter of a child, we place the sparklingPerrier Water. The inimitable brilliance and quality of Perrier are entirely natural. There is no saltiness in Perrier, the great reason why it combines so perfectly with Wines and Spirits, Obtainable at all high-class Hotels, Restaurants and Grocers. Bulbine soith tts Lr. SIS Lontacre Bldg. Sa\Wine cei tt Pera ?. Cor. Broadway & 42d St,. New York For ahie® clace High bad-may PERRIER, VOGUE WILL HELP YOU CHOOSE A SCHOOL T home you watch over the development of A your children with scrupulous care; you follow their daily activities in smallest de- tail; you plan to make their associations and environment uplifting and productive of char- acter, But when your children go away to school— what then? Your surveillance is no longer po: sible; you must surrender entire responsibility to a foster parent—a school. The selection of this foster parent, therefore, cannot be haphazard; it must be made with the eyes open and the mind clear, for it is an important step in your life and that of your children. Who can advise you more wisely in this choice than Vocue? For Vocue has made a lifelong study of this problem; it has conscientiously in- vestigated hundreds of schools of all kind: through long experience has become expert in the appraisal of school values. Its co-operation is not limited to Vocue readers, but is, on the con- trary, open to all who ask it. A letter from you will receive immediate and personal attention. VOGUE SCHOOL SERVICE 443 FOURTH AVENUE NEW YORK CITY