Life, 1916-07-06 · page 16 of 42
Life — July 6, 1916 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous short story satirizes **tire warranty disputes and retailer dishonesty** in the early automobile era. The unnamed narrator purchases a tire guaranteed for 3,500 miles but experiences a blowout after only 1,000 miles of use—well within warranty. When he requests a refund or rebate, the tire salesman employs classic bad-faith tactics: claiming the damage was the customer's fault (running it flat), using technical language ("speaking figuratively"), and demanding the tire be "examined scientifically"—a delay tactic. Despite obvious warranty violation, the salesman denies all responsibility. The satire targets **commercial dishonesty and warranty fine-print abuse**—practices that frustrated early motorists. The narrator's polite, reasonable approach contrasts sharply with the salesman's evasive, legalistic responses, highlighting how businesses exploited warranty loopholes. The illustrations show gentlemen conducting this absurd negotiation, emphasizing the petty yet infuriating nature of such disputes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
16 An Incident About a Tire “EQ XCUSE me,” I said, politely, “but would you mind looking at this tire?” The tire man behind the counter, from whom I had purchased the tire a couple of months back, rather briskly. “Certainly,” he replied, “where is it?” “ Outside.” I led bim out to my car. The tire was wrapped around with a large rubber bandage, giving it a marked appearance of having been in a prize fight. It was badly knocked out. I explained briefly and, I believe, truthfully. “Tt blew out on me yesterdays” I said, “and I managed to patch it up, and T thought you might be interested to see it” zed at me, as I thought, The tire man gazed at it critically and as T thought, unsympathetically, He shook his head. “Looks to me like a puncture,” he said. “ Liable to happen to any perfectly good tire.” I led the way back to his office. I pulled out a perfectly good cigar. “ Let us talk business,” I said, “if you have a few moments of your valuable time at my disposal. You guarantee your tires, I beligve.” “ Oh, certainly.” “ For how long?” “Three thousand five hundred miles.’ “So I understood when I got this tire from you. If you happened to look at my mileage record you will sce that it registers eight thousand miles. When I “LL DEE * a A BIRD IN THLE AND. put that tire on it stood at seven thou- sand miles. In other words, if you happen to be good at figures, I have run that tire one thousand miles. I suppose, sir, that under these obvious conditions I am en- titled to some sort of a rebate.” He sank back in his armchair and puffed my cigar slowly. “Such would be the presumption,” he replied, “upon the face of it.” “ Upon the face of the tire?” “Tam speaking figuratively.” I smiled reassuringly. “So am I," I replied. “I figure it out THE LAST NOTE that you owe me about half the price of that tire—I want to be liberal.” “You see,” he said, in a far-away voice, “our guarantee is in case of any defect in the tire.” “Tam glad to hear that. I am under the impression—” He waved me off. “ Bring in the tire and let me look at it. It will have to be examined scientifi- cally. This, you will understand, is a matter of business.” “Do you want me to take the tire off?" “You will have to. At the end of thirty minutes I had the tire off. I brought it in—as much of it as was left. He took it from me and stood it as best he could on its edge. Then he inserted in it some large pieces of wood. He had it pretty weil bolstered up after a while. He gazed through it and around it critically. “As I suspected,” he murmured. “It was punctured—no fault of ours; it was run flat—no fault of ours.” He turned to me blithely, “Sorry, sir,” he said. “ But there will be no allowance on this tire. There is nothing the matter with it except what you did to it.” “T wouldn't do a thing like that to any human being, let alone a tire,” I replied. “But T thank you, sir, for your kind thought of me and the absolute honesty of purpose and sense of justice that have comicbooks.com