Life, 1916-06-22 · page 22 of 48
Life — June 22, 1916 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous poem about marriage across human history and cultures, not a political cartoon. The decorative border illustrates various wedding ceremonies and domestic scenes from different eras and civilizations. The satire's humor lies in the speaker's romantic exaggeration: he claims to have married the same woman repeatedly throughout history—as prehistoric cave-dwellers, ancient Picts, Coptic Christians, Eskimos, Arabs, medieval knights, and modern couples. Each stanza references a different cultural wedding tradition (the Picts' heather brew, Arab bride-price of camels, Lohengrin operas, etc.). The joke suggests that despite humanity's vastly different customs and circumstances, romantic love and marriage remain constant themes. The speaker ironically catalogs his past rough treatment of his bride—clubbing her, kidnapping her, buying her—while insisting their bond has persisted through "sheer persistence" across lifetimes. It's sentimental satire aimed at newlyweds: a witty assertion that true love transcends cultural differences and historical change.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Our Weddings ONG since, when Ursa Major was a cub, When mammoth-steak supplied our frugal larder, ! wooed your maiden fancy with a club— (Thank heaven that I did not hit you harder!). Thenceforward, undeterred by slight or snub, I've urged my suit with undimi ed ardor, And won your heart and hand through sheer persistence In each and every subsequent existence. With changeful ceremony they have tied Our ever-constant matrimonial tether . As ancient Picts, my bonny, tattooed bride, They pledged our wedded bliss in brew of heather; Our Coptic subjects throned us side by side; As Eskimos, they froze us fast together ; And, as an Arab, free of foolish trammels, I bought you—(let me sec!)—for twenty camels. You've seen me interrupt our nuptial fight To carve my future folks-in-law in sections. You know, my love, how, as an errant knight, I overcame your strenuous objections And bore you off with force and arms, despite The efforts of your family connections. Your price was often large, as I unearth it From Memory’s tomb—but you were always worth it. So, whether jewel-hung and golden-zoned, In Eastern realms you yield me all your sweetness, Or whether Lohengrin'd and Mendelssohn’d We drive away with Occidental feetness, What matter ?—Deathless voices, silver-toned, Shall bid us taste anew of Love's completeness And crowd our book of life with brighter pages While, hand in hand, we wander down the ages. Arthur Guiterman. aad {4 comicbooks.com