Life, 1916-06-08 · page 18 of 46
Life — June 8, 1916 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Main Story:** A burglar breaks into a house but encounters a puppy in the cellar. The dog's affection—licking his face, following him, seeking comfort—softens the criminal. Rather than complete the robbery, the burglar leaves payment for the puppy's care with a note: "You don't know how to treat him," implying the homeowner neglected the dog. **The Satire:** This sentimental tale illustrates a moral paradox: a criminal shows more kindness and conscience toward a living creature than the dog's own owner. It's a commentary on misplaced priorities—the homeowner has enough wealth to employ staff (implied by the house) yet fails at basic animal care. **Other Page Content:** Below the story, separate satirical pieces mock Wall Street brokers' stock forecasts, country clubs' exclusivity and mediocrity, and—in the "Munitions Makers' Manual"—the profit-driven arms industry during the pre-WWI "preparedness" movement. The overall theme: exposing hypocrisy and moral failings in respectable society.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1074 The Burglar and the Pup HE Burglar, stepping across the cel- lar, kicked something soft. It yelped, then barked ecstatically, as the Pup discovered a living presence in the lonesome dark. The Burglar stuffed the little dog under his arm, and listened, while the Pup squirmed up his chest and licked his chin. Except for the rasping of the little tongue on the stubbly chin, there was no sound. Dropping the Puppy to the floor, the man began work on the house door. Behind him came the Pup, flopping up on its fat little feet. Again the Burglar seized it, and again the Pup licked his face. “What'll I do with you?” whispered the man, “Go to bed, won't you?” The Pup would not. “Let's have a look at you.” The Burglar sat down, balancing the Puppy on his knees. “ You're just a little feller, It's a shame to put you in the cellar.” The Pup blinked and snuggled down. “T got work to do,” objected the Bur- glar. He set the Pup on the stairs. It protested, and was hastily picked up. The crying ceased. For some time the Burglar sat on the stairs with the Pup on his knees. Then, putting the sleeping dog in a capacious pocket, the man set to work, Next morning, in the Puppy’s bed, they found the loot, and this note: “To pay for the Pup. You don’t know how to treat him.” W have never understood why these Wall Street brokers who issue mar- ket letters with such confident forecasts do not keep this information to them- selves and thereby gain all the profit. D. Q. Applegate. THE NAKED TRUTH a et HOW SOCIETY MIGHT RAISE Country Clubs By Our Pessimist COUNTRY club is devoted to mixed foursomes, mixed drinks and a mixed crowd. It has a golf course that affords con- cealment to innumerable golf balls, and at the same time provides a means of livelihood for deserving youths who otherwise would be compelled to sell the Sat. Eve. Post. It also makes a home for a couple of middle-aged men with a Scotch accent, who are more than willing to ruin your game at so alt Hh |} / Mee, MONEY FOR “ PREPAREDNESS” much per hour, A country club is al- ways very exclusive from the stand- point of its members and very com- mon from the standpoint of outsiders. It has a smart set who really are not so terribly intelligent after all. It’s open to members certain months of the year and to criticism all the time. Munitions Makers’ Manual RDER—arms! Present—bill! Charget! comicbooks.com