Life — June 8, 1916 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1072 Will It Come to This? ICENE: President's private office of the Columbia National Bank. Presi- pext Meritt busy writing. Enter Joxes, a clerk, Presipent Meritt: Ah, good morn- ing, Jones. What can I do for you? Jones: Mister Jones, if you please, sir. I just stopped in to say that I al- tered a check yesterday, I would have told you before, but you were so busy that I didn’t wish to interrupt you. Presivent Meritt: Quite right, quite right, Mister Jones. What was the amount involved ? Jones: A couple of hundred. “Um! Couldn't you have gotten along with any less?” “Well, hardly, sir. You see it’s quite legitimate. My family is growing, sir, and in order to bring them up right, there are certain necessary things.” “T understand that, Mister Jones. This is, of course, a matter of honor. We rely upon you. But sometimes one might be led unawares into a tempta- tion to be over extravagant. Mr. Hap- lin, our cashier, forged a check for eight hundred dollars last week, when I was able to convince him that he could have gotten along with $600.” “T hardly think, sir, I would do a thing like that, but I suppose you mean it out of the kindest intentions. Good morning, sir.” Jones departs. The door opens, and Mr, Pemberton, a depositor and man- ager of the large department store just around the corner, enters. Presipent Meaitt: Ah, Pemberton! Glad to see you! PeMperton (pulling out a roll of bills and laying it on the desk): 1 came around to pay back that two thousand I robbed your bank of on Saturd. Prestornt Meritt; Did you really? I wasn't aware of it. Pespertox: Yes. You see my em- ployees decided to double their wages, and as they did not notify me about it until Saturday morning, and my balance was low, I just grabbed a pile of bills on one of your teller’s counter, Parsipent Menitt (impatiently): Oh, that’s all right. Don’t go into details. You might leave the money with one of the office boys as you go out. PEeMBerton All right. Oh, by the my son is just through college and inks he would like to start in with you. “Very well, I'll create a position for him, “He thinks he would prefer to create one for himself—when he looks the bank over.” ' ee THE INTERNATIONAL JUGGLER WEARY, BUT AFRAID TO STOP “As you like.” “Good morni Pemberton goes out. The door opens again, and a mixed group of men and women enter, A large lady with a benef- cent smile, Miss Minerva Chillby, ad- vances. Miss Cuttuny: Good morning. As you may know, I am the head of the Social Welfare Universal League, and my colleagues here represent the Brother- hood-of-Man Association, the Freedom Club and the Great Divide Company of America. It is through our efforts mostly that all of our former prisons have been closed up, our laws abolished, our police system done away with, and the govern- ment largely suppressed. We have been examining your bank. Presipent Meritt: Be seated. I hope you found things quite all right. Miss Cuitisy: I am bound to say that you have done very well, consider- ing some of your survivals, “You mean—?” “T mean, of course, some of the ob- sessions that were thought to be neces- sary at one time in order to run a coun- try. But there are a few things I must speak of. We notice you still have one of those obsolete safes, and the clerks tell me you are in the habit of locking up the money at night. This is bad— a survival of the days when legal re- strictions were thought necessary. Peo- ple didn’t understand then that by al- lowing anybody to take anything they wanted, everything would eventually come back to its proper place.” Presipent Meritt (embarrassed) : I'm awfully sorry. I have tried so hard. Miss Cuittsy: Oh, my dear man, don’t be discouraged. You will learn. Have the safe taken out at once. They make excellent refrigerators. Hereafter always leave your cash lying out on tables, One other thing. Mr. Jones, your clerk, told me he had altered a check to provide his family with neces- sary funds and that you had criticised him for it. I merely cautioned him against—” “Ah! Precisely! Anpther survival. Remember, hereafter, that when one of your employees robs your bank, he al: ways has the best personal reasons for doing so, and don't suggest that he may not be entitled to the money. This is the new rul Presipent Meritt (penitently): I'm afraid I've got a lot to learn yet. Miss Cuitusy (going up to and patting him on the back): My dear friend, don’t be discouraged. As I came here to-day two men—utter strangers to me—actually assaulted me and took over a hundred dollars in cash out of my purse—all I had. Do you know, for a moment I came near losing my temper and doing quite the wrong thing. I might have said something rude to them, and thus encouraged them to think it necessary for them to do that sort of thing. E just in time, I reflected that, after all, they were quite within their rights—if they were enjoying themselves. Paesipent Meritr: Dear me! How dreadful! Can I lend you some moncy * to get home with? Miss Cumuny (sweetly, tapping him with her fan): There! There! Another survival! You forget that I can help my- self as I go out! comicbooks.com