Life — May 18, 1916 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

944 With LIFE’S Correspondent at the Front By Parcel Post Army Headquarters, somewhere in Merico. Sometime in May. ARRIVED here this evening with the forward wing of the army, some twenty minutes in advance of the- rear guard, which was unavoidably detained. In spite of the trying day’s march, the troopers remain in good spirits, and all nine of the horses are in first-rate trim. We are now securely intrenched in seven feet of quagmire, but, owing to our general's failure to borrow enough money to pay for a telegram to notify Washington that we are hungry, we are once more obliged to banquet on fricasseed mule. It is known, however, that Congress has ordered food for us in Battle Creek, Mich., and that it will be forthcoming as soon as the requisition is approved by the House Committee on Ways and Means. Our day’s march was fraught with many hardships, al- though not many casualties ensued. Private Murphy was injured while trying to force some 45-caliber cartridges into his 32-caliber rifle, but as there is no more ammuni- tion it is doubtful that further accidents of this nature will take place. Corporal Hogan, who was overcome by heat at the noon hour yesterday, was reported out of danger, and would probably have remained so had he not been frozen to death during the night. According to our sur- geon, such personal calamities would not be so prevalent if the Mexican Meteorological Department could be de- pended upon to furnish correct information as to just which one of their seasons is now being observed. Down here it is quite difficult to determine by the weather whether it is Christmas or the Fourth of July. Considerable annoyance was occasioned headquarters this morning when the Aviation Corps reported that his biplane was still heavier than air. The staff was particularly anxious to learn whether a mountain to be seen in the distance was Pike’s Peak or Popocatepetl, and the failure of the corps to ascend higher than the summit of a dog tent was distressing in the extreme. He argued that the absence of the machine's propeller, which had not been provided for in the builder’s contract, had much to do with the grovelling propensities developed by the flier, but our General has positive assurance that the matter will be taken up by the War Department in the early fall. In that case it will be possible to see seven yards ahead of us without having the Signal Corps climb a cactus, and in the mean- time the machine can be used for digging trenches, for which business it seems to be remarkably well adapted The report sent out from here by some irresponsible busybody that our machine gun has again become incapaci- tated is maliciously untrue. While its function as a weapon is temporarily suspended, it has done yeoman service as a tripod for the moving-picture camera and as an anchor for the hospital tent. When the new barrel, which has been ordered for it in Bridgeport, is finished and passed upon by the Ordnance Department, the death-dealing adjunct to “EE TARE * 2 | ; be wingiglfieetlinr ‘an ie teres = LEAP YEAR modern warfare should be almost as good as new. The correspondent suspected of penning this vile canard is be- ing watched carefully, and he is also under suspicion with being the author of the sickening rumor that glanders has broken out in our extra mule. It is true that our wireless apparatus parted with its efficiency when an officer’s horse dined on the transmitter, but we are to receive another instrument in September, and then we can have our con- flicting orders regularly, as of yore. Information concerning our future movements is being kept secret, but as we can go nowhere in particular, the wise ones predict that we will remain where we are. The fact that we are surrounded by a considerable body of belligerent undesirables, who are supplied with food and Connecticut ammunition, may influence our leaders to stay satisfied with the present scenery and not embarrass the administration by making further noise. We have positive information from our scout that Villa, if not dead, is in Zzcateculuca, Logansport, Indiana or Aix- les-Bains. It is now raining hard. Harry Grant Dart. Hope Springs Etemal AUD: “Have you ever had your flower-garden look as you wanted it to?” Beatrix: “No; you see we've only lived here twenty- five years.” comicbooks.com