Life, 1916-05-11 · page 18 of 48
Life — May 11, 1916 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct sections of humor: **"Headlines That Will Never Be Printed"** is political satire listing absurdly impossible scenarios—clearly mocking early 1900s American politics and society. References include Roosevelt campaigning for Wilson (rivals), Bryan ending European war (impossibly optimistic), and the Kaiser admitting responsibility for WWI (obviously false). The joke is that these things are so contrary to reality or human nature they could never happen. **"A Mistake"** is a gentler, non-political anecdote about a boy with brown freckles on his blue pants. Two elderly women assume his mother neglected to patch the spots matching the fabric, but the boy reveals they're actually his own skin—freckles, not holes. The humor derives from the women's embarrassed realization of their assumption. The accompanying illustrations support these jokes: the top shows what appears to be a WWI-era scene, while the bottom depicts the boy with two women in a wooded setting.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Headlines That Will Never Be Printed OED MAID: Please don't shoot me, mister man! nnn Berctax: Lady, Iam a burglar, not a philanthropist. ROOSEVELT takes the stump for Wikon. Bryan brings about termination of European war. Railroads will lower rate of travel. Opera tenor objects to curtain calls. Kaiser states that he brought about the world's war. Non-speeding device makes new “Crawlo” car a great favorite. Stolen umbrella replaced by better one. Writer of best-seller decides to devote ten years to next novel. Campaign orator refuses to deal in personalities. Hyphenated American citizens most desirabl Harvey A Mistake HERE were three or four tawny spots on the little boy’ blue “knickers.” The two kind old ladies liked his pleasant smile, but they wondered why his “ mother did not patch with a color to match.” Then the little boy in the blue “knickers” with the tawny spots blushed deeply and rst out: “That ain't no patch! That's me!” BABES IN THE Woops comicbooks.com