Life, 1916-05-04 · page 36 of 52
Life — May 4, 1916 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising with brief humorous anecdotes**, typical of early 20th-century Life magazine format. The main cartoon segment, "Our Foolish Contemporaries: Why Not?", presents a military anecdote mocking excessive politeness. A soldier kills a dog in self-defense (it bit him), but the dog's owner complains. When questioned why he didn't use his rifle's butt instead of his bayonet, Private Jones sarcastically asks why the dog didn't bite him with its tail—absurdist logic highlighting the owner's unreasonable expectations. The humor targets **civilian detachment from military realities**: the owner's "docile creature" apparently bites freely, yet he expects gentlemanly restraint from a soldier under attack. The joke ridicules impractical civilian complaints about soldier conduct. The remainder consists of period advertisements (Egyptian cigarettes, Beech-Nut bacon, Detroit Springs, a Waterman pen), interspersed with brief witticisms about umbrella loss and dinner compliments—filler content typical of Life's mixed format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Private Jones, according to Tit-Bits, was summoned to appear before his captain. “Jones,” said the officer, frowning darkly, “this gentleman complains that you have killed his doz.” “A dastardly trick,” interrupted the owner of the dog, ‘to kill a defenseless animal that would harm no one!” “Not much defenseless about him,” chimed in the private, heatedly. “He bit pretty freely into my leg, so I ran my bayonet into him.” Nonsense!” answered the owner angrily, “He was a docile creature. Why did you not defend yourself with the butt of your rifle?” “ Why didn’t he bite me with his tail?” asked Private Jones, with spirit. —Youth’s Companion. Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott’s Bitters is made more delightful and healthful. Sample of bittera by mail, Bets, in stampa. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. — | 1ONEW FEATURES‘ the Hil — aterman Porto__. Derartinc Guest: Good evening, and PAA ie \ TTA thank you for a most charming and ré- }D Kd || | 22 O If i z Bs ak 2 4 2 chauffé little dinner.”—Boston Transcript, < os tension By-wbeel, eee tilted speed contro! automobile > Twinkle twinkle little feet, Try) T Aro relleved by Ellen's foo! \\ 7 STrtbane, a sop your beak H buted to the aid of : shee canyston,yocr beat Hl AVE you contri uted to the aid o! without stoppicg: those in distress? 70 “Yes. I have lost six umbrellas in the last two months."—Washington Star, DACAUDE Makes The Perfect Cocktail, Rickey or Highball, Try ltt bricating Cup prevent squeak- BAKE your ing” oaure smooth BEECH-NUT BACON BEECH-NuT PACKING COMPANY CANAJOHARIE, N. Y. Makers of Beech-Nut Peanut Butter; Beech-Nut To- mato Catsup; Beech-Nut Oscar's Sauce Beech-Nut Mustard; Beech-Nut Jam: Beech-Nut Jellies; Beech-Nut Marmalade: “ck, T. PULLER BEVERIDGE WITHA Fest Beech-Nut Chewing Gum and Mints. CHOSEN COMPANIONS IS NOW ON A FISi- ASK YOUR DEALER. ING TRIP.” comicbooks.com