Life — May 4, 1916 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

2 _SSNUT SCISSORS AvT NULLus “ia Complete Evidence Over in the college city of Berkeley one morning Perkins looked over his fence and said to his neighbor: “ What are you burying there?” “I'm just replanting some of my seeds, that’s all,” was the response. “Seeds!” exclaimed Perkins angrily. “Tt looks more like one of my hens.” “That's all right,” came from the man on the other side of the fence. “The seeds are inside.”—Argonaut. Cautious “You seem to be rather busy.” “Yes, I'm writing a love letter. I've been working on it for more than an hour.” “Why take such pains?” “T want to feel sure that if this letter is ever read in court it won't make me look like a fool —Birmingham Age-Herald, BUT WHY DO YOU SPEAK OF HIM as LOUIS THE FOURTEE ‘“ “YoU SEE HE WAS INVITED So THERE WOULD NOT BE THIRTEEN AT TABLE. 1 | Figuratively Speaking Dr. Wiley tells the following story: Sleepily, after a night off, a certain in- terne hastenee to his hospital ward. The first patient was a stout old Irishman. “ How goes it?” he inquired. “ Faith, it’sh me breathin’, doctor. I can't get me breath at all, at all.” “Why, your pulse is normal. Let me examine the lung-action,” replied the doc- tor, kneeling beside the cot and laying his head on the ample chest. Now, let's hear you talk,” he con- tinued, closing his eyes and listening. “What'll Oi be sayin’, doctor?” “Oh, say anything. Count one, two, three and up,” murmured the interne, drowsi “Wan, two, three, four, five, six,” be- gan the patient. When the young doctor, with a start, opened his eyes, he was counting huskily, Tin hundred an’ sixty-nine, tin hundred an’ sivinty, tin hundred an’ sivinty-wan.” PALL CooLot —Christian Register, Not Filling Lapy or tHe House: You say you haven't had anything to cat to-day? Trasip: Lady, de only t'ing I've swal- lered to-day is an insult.—Answers. Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions, '$s.o0 a year in advance. Additional postage t foreign countries in the Fosial Union, $1.94 a year; to Canada, 52 cents, Single eu rent copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publicatio 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. ‘ ‘ : The text and illustra Live are copyrighted. For Reprnt Rights in Great Britain Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from boot sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied {ro= Lirs’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by ‘stamped and addres envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of hicited contributions. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. apply to Lire, Rolis Hou ms Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, England, Considered a profitable investment by those that have used them— HARDMAN “SureGrip’ Tires Extra heavy traction tread—a feature of superior construction, Guaranteed for 5,000 miles. Hardman Tire and Rubber Co. New York Office, 1904 Broadway General Sal 149 BROADWA’ 27 Michigan Avense, Chicago. Factory: Belleville, N. J. Agencies throughout the sd States enthusiasm for ce tuspired by, Lafayette is restuspired errie RENCH NATUR AL SPARKLING TABLE WATER 1O the priceless artistic and epicurean gifts Fora richoclass Hee which France has lavished upon the Beltcerr PERE world she has now added that characteristically French product—Perrier Water. It possesses natural brilliance and sparkle, and unrivalled subtle delicacy. A glass of Perrier alone or with a slice of lemon in the early morning is invaluable in gout and uric acid troubles. Obtainable at all high-class Hotels, Restaurants and Grocers. Pernritr, Lro. Co: comicbooks.com