Life, 1916-04-13 · page 32 of 46
Life — April 13, 1916 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Dreadful Scandal"** satirizes isolationist criticism of U.S. military intervention on the Mexican border. The text references Pancho Villa's 1916 raid into New Mexico, which killed Americans. Rather than blame Villa or advocate military preparedness, the piece ironically argues the *real* problem was the Army having a machine gun it didn't know how to operate—suggesting the critic's logic is absurdly backwards. The satire mocks those who opposed providing the military with modern weapons, implying their pacifism was dangerously naive. **"Not Altogether"** is a lighter humor piece. Two doctors debate the appendix's usefulness: one calls it useless; the other quips it's kept thousands of surgeons employed (by needing removal). This reflects early-20th-century medical debates over appendectomies. **The golf dictionary** and related cartoons are unrelated humor about golfing terminology and etiquette—the "Move On!!!" cartoon shows recruitment contrasting with social propriety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Extracts from a Golfer's Dictionary BY ER: A protuberance on the face of nature rising up out of the side of a sandy depression, designed to ruin the pleasure of golf, to test the patience of the player, and to serve as an inspiration for philologists, amateur and professional, in the making of new and original “contributions to the world’s stores of profane speech. Luck: The good play of yo petitor and the bad play of yor Dr A contrivance consisting of a long, flexible shaft, at the ¢ which is affixed a wooden head o FOR DRAWING THE ENEMY’S FIRE thickness of that of a rural d A Dreadful Scandal EPORTS of the escapade of Villa in United States territory state that one of the reasons why there were so many Americans killed was because our machine gun didn't work. This shows the danger of our having a machine gun. We do not know where it came from or what it was doing on the Mexican border, To give our army a machine gun, and at a moment when Villa’s men were looking for troubie, was manifestly im- proper. If we are going to provide our army with dangerous weapons that it doesn’t know how to use, what can we expect? We hope Congress will investigate this affair within the next decade, and if thére are any more machine guns lying around they will be taken away from our army and put where they belong—in the Museum of Natural History Not Altogether NP: The vermiform appendix seems to be the designed to propel a golf ball into the one thing in the world that is absolutely useless. nearest difficulty within reach at a Tuck: Useless? Why, it has kept thou- single stroke, whereby the i tion sands of doctors from starving to death. of the player and the risibilities of the spectators may be materially enhanced. Tre: An elevated bit of earth upon which golfers are expected to stand and make an exhibition of themselves for the delectation of passers-by. Batt: A small white object, some- times spherical in shape, manufactured and sold in large quantities, at a high price, for the purpose of being lost = Tm Ar S : in long grass, or on side bets at so many per hole, according to the sport- WHEN YOU'RE ENGAGED ing proclivities of the bettors.