Life — March 30, 1916 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WHO ARE You, ANYHOW?” Business and Business E have been told it too often not to know that “business is busi- ness,” but is it necessarily business? That is to say, has it always been busi- ness, or, if not that, is it an idealistic summit where we find ourselves after many weary and conscientious ages of upward striving and to which, there- fore, as such a realized ideal, we must cling with all the bulldog tenacity of our being? Or is it merely a passing phase of our development? Is it that we con- temporaries have just happened to come upon the earthly stage at a time when circumstances require business to be strictly business and nothing else? If so, it is possible that busi- ness may yet come to occupy quite a different place in our calculations. For instance, instead of being a voca- tion, it may become an avocation Thus our business hours may become our Ieisure hours. Or, again, instead of saying there is no sentiment in business, we may find a way of put- ting a great deal of sentiment into it. From that thought it is easy to fly to ‘LIF E- The Wrong Floor CERTAIN Emperor (This is a censored tale) Once pounded on the door Of heaven with fist of mail. Cried Peter from within, Awakened by the row, “Stop that infernal din! Who are you, anyhow?” “Don't bandy words with me!” Thundered the visitor. “ All doors to me are free. I am the Emperor.” “If you're an Emperor,” Said Peter, “then I fear You've come to the wrong floor. We take no Emperors here. “ Our waiting list is filled With martyrs brave and truc Whose blood an Emperor spilled. There is no room for you.” Cowed by Saint Peter's look, The Emperor, with a frown, Cried, “Well, I'm damned!’ and took The clevator—down, O. Herford. the hope that business may even be- come a pleasure, so that instead of saying “business before pleasure,” the two will go along merrily hand in hand. Perhaps. Who knows? EDTor: Did you tell that fellow that if he didn’t advertise with us we would print an article denouncing his product? Abvertisinc Manacer: Well, hardly that. I just told him that in view of his singular attitude, we should have to be true to the high standard of journalism we had set for ourselves. AUD: Are you going to patron- ize the two-dollar movies? Beatrice: Pay two dollars and sit in the dark? Not I! I only go to the show to see what the audience is wear- ing. Hopeless THe question having come up in Congress as to whether the dog should wag the tail or the tail wag the dog, it was at once voted to suspend the usual order of business. Congressman Pounder was given one hour and a half to uphold the honor of his country in explaining that the tail must wag the dog. Congressman Bummer was given twenty minutes to answer him. The Evening Post spoke of it as follows: “O Pity! Far be it from us to say anything against the administration ex- cept slyly to stick a suffragette carv- ing-knife into it whenever we can, but it has certainly come to a pretty pass in this country when, as intimated by Congressman Bummer, the dog is made to wag the tail. What that doc- trine will cost this country, as Burke would say, makes us quake.” comicbooks.com