Life — March 16, 1916 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Last Meeting HE gods were sitting in council on high Olympus. Jupiter rose from his armchair at the head of the mahogany table and placed his hand gently on the shoulder of Mars, the burly War-God. My boy,” he urged, “reconsider your resignation from this august assemblage, I beg. We shall miss you from our councils. If it's a question of a bigger salary, I don’t see why we can’t reach some satisfactory arrangement.” “No!” bellowed Mars defiantly, “I'm through! I spent a week-end on some of my old battlefields recently, and the things which I saw down there made me fairly ii “I hear that the mortals have manufactured contrivances of wood and canvas and steel which have broken my rec- ords for altitude, distance and endurance,” interrupted Mercury, petulantly rustling the wings on his sandals. “Mercury,” replied Mars impressively, “if you got into a race with one of those new-fangled aeroplanes, I wouldn’t bet a quart bottle of sour nectar that you would be within sight of it at the finish!” Jupiter's face darkened, and he clutched his thunderbolts threateningly. “Let them beware,” he rumbled. “If they play any tricks on the Messenger of the Gods, I'll crush them to a jelly!” Mars snorted. “You'll do great things, Jupiter,” he re- plied. “You're too far behind the times. Your thunder- bolts only have a range of three miles; but some of these new war-machines can hurl thunderbolts five times as de- structive as yours, and hurl them five times as far. “TI don’t believe it!” exclaimed Jupiter indignantly. “I don't care whether you do or not,” growled Mars. “T tell you I saw the battlegrounds. Great bare fields, desolate and reeking with horrid odors. No more romance ; no more glory! Men living like vermin, in holes in the earth. Filth and squalor; unseen enemies and unseen death; brutality and unclean agencies. I tell you, it made me ashamed of myself and of my profession. I’m through: that’s all there is to it!” Vulcan tapped the carpet thoughtfully with his sledge- hammer, “What do you intend to do, Mars?” he asked. “I'm going to America!” said Mars. “There ought to be an opening for me ia a munition factory over there. I hear that America is going to arm itself so thoroughly that it can never be warred upon.” For a time the gods brooded over his words, while he made ready for his departure. Finally Jupiter clasped him affectionately by the hand. “I guess you're right, my boy,” he sighed. “Our old stamping-grounds are getting too rotten for us. Go with our blessings, and—er—er— um—" “Yes,” prompted Mars helpfully, “Well,” stammered Jupiter, “if you run into a job tha I might like over there, drop me a line, will you?” “Me, too!” shouted Vulcan. “Cable me, collect!” And from the eager chorus which followed hard upon Vulcan’s words, Mars knew that not many weeks would elapse before his fellow gods joined him in America. K. L. Roberts. *LIFE- Echo GPRING is melodious o'er all the earth I hear her liquid accents on the breeze Her silver summons in the river's flow. Across the greening shadows of the hitls The music drifts like sunshine—and beho'd, The golden crocuses lie all aflame With the remembered melody of birth. Leolyn Louis Should Congress Be Investigated > UR forefathers expected a great deal of Congress. Has that expectation been realized, and if be worth Congress's while to look into the m: Introspection, if not indulged in to excess, be beneficial. Now that Congress has investigated else beneath the celestial dome, and has more in/ at its beck than any other similar body before or wouldn't it be a good notion for Congress to fi itself, to subject itself to a relentless and exhaustive investi- gation? Such an investigation would be expected show whether Congress is actually fitting into the modern scheme of things with the requisite absence of friction; whether, having corralled all the aforementioned inform it is making the proper use of it, and whether this yreat body can be relied on in the future to keep abreast of If Congress is all that our forefathers intended, we ought to know it.’ On the other hand, if Congress is merely a device for wasting the time of some six hundred excellent men, then we ought to know that also. ogress, SECOND SIGHT