Life, 1916-03-02 · page 30 of 44
Life — March 2, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **state-by-state satirical descriptions** mocking American regional characteristics. Connecticut is criticized for being commercialized; Alabama for infrequent legislatures and child labor; Massachusetts for pretension despite being populated by immigrants; New York for debt; New Jersey for declining from its past reputation. The **cartoon "A Defenseless Woman"** depicts Miss Columbia (personification of America) alarmed at a man's approach, saying she lacks "even a hatpin"—a reference to the contemporary women's self-defense weapon. The accompanying dialogue mocks consumerism and marital dynamics of the era. **"Not So Slow for Philadelphia"** sarcastically celebrates Pennsylvania's new child labor law: Willie refuses to do arithmetic, claiming the law makes him a "law-abiding citizen" by prohibiting work—inverting the law's protective intent into an excuse for laziness. The overall tone reflects early 20th-century progressive critique of American institutions, regional stereotypes, and social contradictions.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SMV ~\ SS 402 Confidential Guide to Leading States ONNECTICUT: The home of the original Yankee, now peopled by insurance agents and New Haven officials who are trying to live down the past. Also where pure Havanas come from. ArasamMa: A legislature that meets every four years, whether the state demands it or not, and where child la- borers meet every morning. Intinots: A piece of land held in reserve by the city of Chicago for future golf links. Massacuusetts: The alleged home of the highbrow. In reality, a voting booth for newly landed immigrants. New York: A small body of fans, entirely surrounded by debt. New Jersey: A place that once had a reputation for good roads, bad corporations and Woodrow Wilson; now living on its past. : Caxtirornia: A part of Japan, temporarily held by the United States. Onto: A place where the presidential candidates don’t come from. “I DON’T CARE A HANG IF YOU BOUGHT A FUR COAT, EMMA. BUY A DOZEN!” “EEE ' Se A DEFENSELESS WOMAN HEAVENS! HERE HE COMES AND I HAVEN’T EVEN A HATPIN Miss Columbia: Kentucky: graphically. Kansas: Cornfields, William Allen White, whiskers, prohibition and hell, all put up in the original package. Marse Henry Watterson, expressed topo- Pennsytvanta: A state that sets the world on fire. Pensions for Poets Wr all this talk about providing pensions for indigent writers? Why should literary folk be aided and abetted any more than other honest workmen? Does the needy plumber or the necessitous typist receive a° bonus from anybody? And yet they work just as hard at their job, and perhaps are as much use in the world. If we have deliberately elected to write bad books instead of reading good ones, and have failed to make them bad enough, is that any reason for being patronized by some stockbroker? And on the principle that a certain amount of fleas is good for a dog, perhaps a certain amount of hardship is good for a poet. * Not So Slow for Philadelphia “NY/ILLIE,” cried Willie's mother, “come right in the house this very minute and go to work on your arithmetic.” “No, ma,” returned Willie. “I want to grow up a law-abiding citizen, and the Pennsylvania Legislature has just passed a law forbidding child labor.” LeeConnen comicbooks.com