Life, 1916-02-10 · page 36 of 44
Life — February 10, 1916 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine collects brief satirical jokes under "Our Foolish Contemporaries." The content includes: **"A Deep One"**: A child refuses free cherries because the farmer's hand is larger than his own—satirizing childish logic and misunderstanding of generosity. **"Something New"**: A man caught between his wife and mother-in-law claims "alarmed neutrality"—mocking domestic marital conflict and cowardly neutrality. **"Archie's Neck"**: A boy reports his friend fell into water "up to" his neck, but the phrase confuses his mother—gentle wordplay humor. **"Parental Negligence"**: The final joke critiques Presidential candidates who regret not being born in log cabins (suggesting frontier authenticity and humble origins) rather than brownstone apartments—satirizing artificial political image-building and candidates' attempts to appear self-made. The page also includes period advertisements and product promotions typical of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
264 OUR~ FOOLISH! CONTEMPO ARIES | Ae A Deep One Johnny stood beside his mother as she made her selection from the huckster’s wagon, and the farmer told the boy to take a handful of cherries, but the child shook his head. “What's the matter? Don't you like them?” asked the huckster. “Yes,” replied Johnny, “Then go ahead an’ take some.” Johnny hesitated, whereupon the farm- er put a generous handful in the boy's cap. After the farmer had driven on, the mother asked: “Why didn’t you take the cherries when he told you to?” “Cause his hand was bigger'n mine.” —Christian Register. Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's Bitters is made | more delightful and healthful. Sample of bitters. by mail, Bets, in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Something New Jaspers: I tell you, old man, it’s a ter- rible thing when your wife quarrels with her mother and the old lady lives with you. Which side do you take? Haver: Neither. I preserve an alarmed neutrality.—Tit-Bits. “Joxrs is in the hospital very much pwn.” Nervous prostration or automobile? —Baltimore American. The little leather case that is three by two, It's light, just right, now it's “UP-TO-YOU.” Classy, unique and thoroughly practical. Operated by one hand, the forefinger of which opens the case and brings the contents “UP-TO-YOU” No springs. clamps, or pressure to crush or bruise the clearettes. A. toetal shell 7, tnaide apd out. Ne riiy ees. He gcouine Tetworted pigskin. Price $1 Rrapeci ‘ove for tall Gress tn dainty It your deater toes not 1 postage carey it, sead order direct EGYPTIAN DEITIES | | “The Utmost in Pin Ender spelt Bye ft PREFER. Deities io tous, UP-TO-YOU Case Co., Archie’s Neck Little Willice—in small boy stories the central figure is nearly always named Little Willie—came running into the house, stuttering in his excitement. “Mommer,” he panted, “do you know Archie Sloan's neck?” “Do I know what?” asked his mother. “Do you know Archie Sloan's neck?” repeated her offspring. “TI know Archie Sloan,” answered the puzzled parent; “so I suppose I must know his neck. Why?” “Well,” said Willie, “he just now fell into the back-water up to it.” —Saturday Evening Post. BACARDI Makes The Pertect Cocktail, Aickey or Mighball, Try {tt Inpicnant Customer: Barber, why did you drop that steaming towel on my face? Baxper: Because it was too hot to hold, sir.—Boston Globe. Parental Negligence What a Presidential candidate can't forgive is the failure of his parents to arrange for his birth in a log cabin in: stead of a brownstone apartment house. —Boston Transcript. Ton ante a