Life, 1916-02-10 · page 30 of 44
Life — February 10, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes American military preparedness circa 1910-1912. The opening poem argues the U.S. must prepare for war regardless of moral righteousness—the practical reality matters more than ideology. The "Merrimac vs. Monitor" section is a joke about inflated survivor claims: newspapers reported the last Monitor survivor died, yet thousands claimed Monitor service. The irony suggests either mass fraud or absurd record-keeping. "Rip Van Uncle" (illustrated right) depicts America as a sleeping figure awakening to military reality—a reference to Washington Irving's tale of prolonged slumber. "Some Testimonials" sarcastically presents endorsements from foreign powers—Japan, Kaiser Wilhelm II, and Montenegro—praising American naval and territorial assets. The joke: these nations "recommend" American military strength to other nations seeking easy targets, implying U.S. forces are actually vulnerable despite claims of preparedness. The overall message: America must genuinely prepare militarily, not merely theorize about it.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
258 Preparedness—Two Kinds “THRICE is he armed that hath his quarrel just” May be alll right in theory, And yet we sometimes see A party with a cause that’s just Serve as a mop With which another party swabs up dust. So, 'twould seem best that we, Or some of us, should stop Our bootless kicking Against the present tendency Of thought and logic of events. And, anyhow, there isn’t sense In our opposing Destiny. We've simply got to be prepared—whether we would or not— Either to give a foeman shot for shot, Or be prepared to take, some day, an awful licking. Merrimac vs. Monitor We see by the papers that the last survivor of the Monitor is dead again. Our understanding is that there are only 10,987 of these patriots left among us now. —Columbia State. 'HOSE that are left probably escaped in the Merrimac, which, as will be recalled, was not sunk, but driven up the James River, All her crew who were not killed were survivors of the Monitor. “OH! EXCUSE ME, FATHER—1 THOUGHT YOU WERE ASLEEP” “LIFE: i) Meri ange /) RIP VAN UNCLE Some Testimonials AVING settled upon your Pacific Coast now for some time, and enjoyed its climate and fruits, I can truly say that as a place of permanent residence I desire no other. * Japan. Some time ago I was invited over to take possession of your Atlantic Seaboard. It is one of the best seaboards I ever conquered, and it gives me pleasure to testify to its great worth. I shall never try any other. Tue Katser. Having tried your navy as an annex to my own, I desire to testify to its great help. I was able to make it do a lot at a critical time. I can cordially recommend it to any large or even medium-sized nation looking for an easy- mark navy in plain sight. Joun Butt. I want to say that the portion of your beloved country, while comparatively small as our share, is all that could be desired. Every one of our inhabitants is enjoying it in- tensely, MonrTENEcRO.