Life — January 13, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* IME * Union Forever ALLING attention to the fact that man’s underwear has not been impreved upon since the days of the Puritans, the Kansas City Star says that “ millions of proud and self-respecting men, even arrogant men who demand to have their votes counted, will buy union suits when they know the arms are too long, and will stealthily turn up the sleeves when they don’t shrink and wear them in the form of a cuff all winter.” Far be it from us to dwell upon this pathetic and painful subject. Undoubtedly, in all ages underwear has been the husband’s cross and the bachelor’s despair. Yet are we putting too much of a strain upon our optimism when we timidly state that the union suit is an improvement upon the former double-piece garment? For one thing, when one rises in the dim, religious light of a bleak wintez’s morning the union suit is more easy to locate. It cannot, so to speak, become separated from each other. It is woven to- ther indissolubl When we find it, perhaps cowerin and muttering to itself behind the bath tub, where we joy- fully flung it the night before, it is not divided against itself. In the long process of ages, to have evolved in men’s underwear even so slight an improvement as this, is surely worth recording. It shows, in spite of Mr. Bryan, Scott Nearing and Von Tirpitz, that civilization is in reality advancing. Who knows but that in some future age, even our pajamas will undergo a cosmic change, so that when we have a pair sent home, the legs will always be the right length—just long enough, as Lincoln remarked about any man’s legs, to reach the ground. The Closed Circle THE KNIGHT ERRANT OUNG GIRL: Yes! I feel an intense longing to do something for others Frieno: Just whom do you mean by others? . “Well, I suppose almost anybody outside of my im- Stirred Up mediate family.” UNE SAM reclined upon a divan in the drawing- room of his luxurious apartments. A servant en- tered, at his signal, with the evening papers. “What’s happened to-day?” asked Uncle Sam. “A few factories have been bombed,” said the servant. “ Several thousand women and children have been drowned, the government has been insulted, the capitol has been par- tially des. ie “Oh, yes, yes—but anything of importance?” “A foreign power has detained our other merchant ves- sel, causing us a loss of four dollars and thirty-one cents money.” The old gentleman leaped to his feet. “Enough of this lawlessness!” he roared. “ Four dol- lars and thirty-one cents in money! Before Heaven "—and one could not mistake the determination that animated the —_ man—* before Heaven, I swear that I shall give this for- eign power no rest, neither by day nor by night, until I . POKER TERM have recovered, with legal interest, my four dollars and DRAWING TO A GOOD PAIR” thirty-one cents!” E. H. comicbooks.com