Life — December 16, 1915 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1212 “LIFE CerggiroR RS Moderate mode of life and careful conduct of business lead on to fortune. Sturdy health and robust bank accounts keep step with moderation. Money Talks! Times are a trifle kard in the Cotton Belt just now, and money is a little scarce. Evidently Uncle Ephraim thinks so, for he came up to his supply mer- chant the other day and said: “Marse John, times is tighter than I is ever seed ‘em before. Do you know, Marse John, I can’t get no money at all? No, sir, I can't get nuthin’! I can’t even get hold of a nickel! Do you know, Marse John, hit actually looks like I'll have to go to preachin’ in order to make a livin’, I done it once and I ain't too good to do it again!" —Saturday Evening Post. We count the moderate man our best customer for a wonderfully mild and mellow Whiskey— Wilson—Real Wilson—That’s All! The Whiskey for which we invented the Non-Refillable Bottle ‘Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's Bitters is made more delightful and healthful. Sample of bittera py mail, Beta. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Mc FREE CLUB RECIPES—Free booklet of famous club recipes for mixed drinks. Address Wilson, 13 E. 31st St, N.Y. That's All Questionable “Blinks says that when he was young he was the architect of his own fortune. “Didn't they have any building in- spectors in those days?” —Philadelphia Public Ledger. Force of Habit The drug clerk was leaning listlessly against the prescription counter, the very picture of indolence. - Two young naval officers were heard “Haven't you any ambition at all, my discussing their respective dearests and boy?” kindly inquired a solicitous old bests—for the time being. gentleman. “T think Clare is a dear little craft,” “No,” responded the clerk dreamily, said one. “but I have something just as good. “*Dear and little,’ did you say?” —Ladies’ Home Journal. snorted the other. e's ‘dear’ all right, but I don’t know so much about the ‘little’ She's the biggest revenue- cutter I've ever seen."—Tit-Bits, IF Your Gas BACARDI Makes The Perfect Cocktail, Hicker oF iighballe ey Tet The Original Method Katherine and Margaret found them- selves seated next cach other at a dinner- party and immediately became confiden- The Sparrow: wey, THERE! you've GOT A NERVE DRINKING UP OUR BATHING POOL, -i tial, Tank Leaked a “ Molly told me that you told her that Would You Plug The Hole? Then look to your Car- buretor—let us show you how to stop the leak — get increased mileage, power and more speed—better acceler- ation and flexibility with the New Stromberg Carburetor, Mail Coupon for proof. Newsom REMEARS Ohag SRE poet Name of my cxr_____ Model Name. secret I told you not to tell her,” whis- pered Margaret. “Oh, isn’t she a mean thing!” gasped Katherine. “ Why, I told her not to tell you!” “Well,” returned Margaret, “I told her I wouldn't tell y« he told me—so don’t tell her I dis erybody’s. Cause of Unrest “What is the cause of social unrest?” “ The desire,” replied Mr, Dustin Stax, “of the workingman for leisure and of the leisurely man for something to keep him busy."—IWashington Star. Ferocity Explained I read as ‘ow that ‘ere ‘Inden. ‘aa'gotvan English wile, Atr Ah, that accounts for ‘is fightin’ like’ "e does—London Saturday Night, Customer: [ve taken seventeen of these bottles now, and I'm feeling no bet- ter. “Deve Creek: But how would you feel if you hadn't taken them ?—Dallas News. Reduce repair bills Protect delicate mechanism from shocks. micbooks.com