Life, 1915-12-16 · page 10 of 44
Life — December 16, 1915 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece by J. Hounder Baltimorford examines claims about American naval strength during what appears to be a peace/disarmament period. The main cartoon shows **Lady Liberty/Britannia seated on a throne labeled "Neutrality,"** while a jester figure below her gestures dismissively—likely representing political figures or public opinion minimizing military preparedness. The accompanying article humorously documents conversations with government officials about actual naval capacity. Officials claim the navy consists of "two hundred and one battleships, two hundred and four cruisers, five hundred submarines"—figures that seem exaggerated or fictional. The satire mocks both the vagueness of official statements and public complacency about military readiness. The smaller cartoon jokes: "My name? Why, I'm the original round-robin!"
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“YOU MADE ME WHAT I AM TO-DAY. I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED” The Truth About Our Navy (By J. Bounder Ballingford, Lire’s special correspondent) AVING been commissioned by Lire to find out where our navy is, how large it is, and what its con- dition is, I beg leave to report as fol- lows: My first thought was to send out a good detective and have him locate the navy, if possible. But it seemed to me, after due consideration, that I would better consult the leading authorities of the country. Up to the present time, nobody knows whether we have a navy or not. I saw one of the high officials connected with the navy department. I can vouch for his opinion, although his name is withheld, as it might lay him open to suspicion. He sai¢ “We have a navy, I know because I have seen it. Do not ask me to say any more than this.” A leading member of the House, who is interested in the new defense pro- gram, received me cordially at his resi- dence on Avenue A. I asked him if he could inform the readers of Lire how large our navy is at present. “Certainly,” he replied. “We have two hundred and one battleships, two hundred and four cruisers, five hun- dred submarines, eighteen hundred torpedo destroyers, and a couple of thousand gunboats.” “Do you think that is enough?” “Not quite. We need about nine hundred battleships more.” “What is the condition of our navy?” “Fair. Several smokestacks are loose, and the steering-gear on one of our submarines needs attention With the help of Congress, we hope to have these repairs made in time for the next war.” I then called upon another leading member of the House, who is inter- ested in the Peace program. “Can you tell me the exact number of our navy?” I enquired. “Certainly,” he replied. “We have one battleship, one submarine, one tor- pedo boat and one cruiser; also a steam launch.” “Ts that enough?” “Too much, I am seriously con- sidering a proposal to turn the battle- ship into a training ship, to be used on Sunday afternoons as a place where our young men can gather to receive instruction from the Secretary of the Navy on the gospel of every-day life and other vital matters.” To sum up: We have a navy. It consists of battleships and cruis- ers, submarines and other floating vehicles. It is in as good condition as can be expected. ELLE: What do you expect for Christmas? Bon: Not a thing! Brite: Optimist! “My NAME? way, I'M ROUND-ROBID