Life — December 9, 1915 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1166 UR_ r oO OLISH | CONTEMPO ARIES *6G Aa Getting Even “Don't you care for any postcards to- day?” asked a postal clerk, as he handed the man the stamp he had requested. “No, not to-day,” said the man. “Or some stamped envelopes? We have some new ones.” “No, thank you.” “Would you like a money order?” “Or perhaps you would like to open a postal savings account?” But the man had fled. “Who was that fellow, and why did you ask him all those questions?” asked a fellow-clerk. “That,” said the other clerk, “is my barber, For years when he has shaved me he has bothered me with recommen- dations of massages, shampoos, hair cuts, and hair tonics. I am even with him now!"—London Opinion. A Sherbet is made tasty and delightful by using Abbott's Ritzera, | Sample of bitters by, mail, 2 ta, In stamps, SW, Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Not That Sort Hetex: Do you love me, dear? Jack: Dearly, sweetheart. Hern: Would you die for me? Jack: No, my pet. Mine is an un- dying love-—Philadelphia Ledger. BACARDLI Makes The Perfect Cocktail, Klekey or Highball. Try ttt Not Very, But Some “Isn't that rather strong stuff that you boys buy?” asked a Northern man of a negro who had just bought a pint of rather vigorous whiskey. “No, sah,” replied the negro; “not so strong as mi’ be, sah. We reckon to this yere about three fights to a pint, sah!” —Ladies’ Home Journal. Talking Machine Toys RAGTIME RASTUS—An Avtomatic Dancing Doll for Disc Talking Machines, Rastus does Talking Machines. «cc belights coitdren, makes stows people shout with Iaug Moat Amasleg Now THE BOXING DARKIES scrap like haman tein more life thas any b Execute all realistic, Theve toys ft NATIONAL TOY CO. To Hold Your Horse Shoes you need “Capewell” nails. longest service. the foot of a valu- nail in the world ata fair price not cheapest regardless of quality. Ask your shoer to use CAPEWELL nails it pays. Greatest strength— No splitting or crimping to injure able horse. Best The Next Bi Improvemen in Automobiles Gear Shifting Magnetically By Later of Push Buttons Every automobile owner, and everyone con- ing the purchase of an automobile, will be vitally interested in “The Next Big Improve- ment In Automobiles”, a booklet (Just issued) de- scribing magnetic gear shifting. Your nameand address on a pos! ‘will bring you a copy of this booklet by return mail—also name of dealer in your town who can furnish car equipped with MagneticfGear Shift. THE CUTLER-HAMMER MFG. CO. 1207St. Paul Avenue, Milwaukee, Wis. Look for the Magnetic Cear Shift at thi ‘New York ond Chicago Shows . His Favorite Beast Harris Dickson, on a hunting trip in Sunflower County, Mississippi, met an old darky who had never seen a circus in his life. When the Big Show came in the following season to Dickson's town of Vicksburg he sent for the old man and treated him to the whole thing arrival of the trains, putting up the tents, grand free street parade, menag crie, main performance, concert, side show, peanuts, red lemonade, and all. The old darky followed his white pa- tron through with popping eyes, but say- ing never a word, Late in the afternoon they got back to the Dickson home. John,” said Dickson, “you enjoyed “Boss.” said John fervently, “Ah shore did!" “What did you like the most?” “Mistah Dickson,” answered John, “ Ah shore laked hit all, “Well, what impressed you most?” “ Well, suh, boss,” he said, “Ah reckin hit waz dat dere animul you calls de camuel.” “The camel, ch? Well, what was so remarkable about the camel?” “He suttinly is got such a noble smell!” Saturday Evening Post. “Way are you asking me for help? Haven't you any close relatives? ” “Yes. That's the reason why I'm ap- pealing to you.” —Birmingliom Aye-Herald, “HE STIFFENED PERCEPTIBLY ” Fowl of Leisure A Chicago man, having unexpectedly come into a fortune through a lucky strike, set up a country home near the Windy City, where his family lived in style. One day, while his wife was showing some of her old-time friends about the place, they came to the poultry-yard. “What beautiful chickens!” one of the visitors exclaimed. “All prize fowl,” haughtily explained the hostess. “And do they lay every day “Oh, they could, of course,” continued but in our position it is not necessary for them to do so. —Harper's Magazine iciecane as succeeded ia patting op Bute, ready to serve om toast oe pattie. shell Creamest Chicken a ta moshroots Sally Cross’ Creamed Chicken a la King sa revelation sit for hensteoa, SALLY CROSS, Inc., Route 2-C Providence. R. If You Carry Them tn a DANDA LEATHER KEY CASE With Your Nome Stamped in: 25c Pram Wate for aid Co of Baa ees as avs DANDA EL. MPG. CO., 82 Joha St., New York comicbooks.com