Life, 1915-12-09 · page 30 of 48
Life — December 9, 1915 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Wanted" (top cartoon):** A mock "personal ad" ridiculing impossible female ideals. The illustration shows various fashionable women representing different social types. The text demands a wife who is domestic, kind, prefers children to pets, doesn't gamble or smoke, yet paradoxically cares nothing for society or money—an unrealistic, contradictory fantasy of the "perfect woman." **"See the Gold" (left column):** Satirizes American economic policy during what appears to be gold-standard era debates. The piece uses absurdist dialogue to mock the logic of exporting valuable domestic goods (materials, clothing, food) abroad in exchange for gold that's then locked away unused—serving no practical purpose for citizens or the poor. The satire highlights the disconnect between nationalist finance and actual human welfare. **"Rich, Fat and Contented" (right column):** Responds to a newspaper claim that Union League Club members are wealthy and satisfied. The author argues this is a rural fantasy—most wealthy clubs contain only a small percentage of truly rich, contented members, since people die, lose fortunes, or gain only one attribute (wealth OR contentment, rarely both).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘WANTED A WIFE WHO IS DOMESTIC, LOVING, GENTLE AND KIND; PREFERS CHILDREN TO CATS OR DOGS; DOES NOT SMOKE, DRINK OR PLAY CARDS FOR MONEY; HAS MONEY OR CLOTHES; NOTHING FOR SOCIETY, RELATIONS. See the Gold L° and behold the Gold! Yes, what a tremendous quantity And how yellow and And what of it there is. glittering and attractive. a delightful specific gravity it has! Where is the Gold coming from? Oh, the Gold is coming from abroad. Why do they send the Gold to us from abroad? They send it to us in return for valuable things we have produced by our labor, such as building material and wearing apparel and foodstuffs. Why do we send these things out of the country? Is it because we prefer to have the Gold? Yes, we much prefer to have the Gold. What are we going to do with the Gold? In what way are we going to use it? We are not going to use it at all. We are going to store it away in deep, strong vaults where no one can even sce it. What! Do you mean to say that we are not going to cat it or wear it or use it as a shelter or burn it as fuel or adorn ourselves with it? No, indeed. We are not even going to use it as a medium of exchange. Wouldn't it then have been better to keep the valuable things that we sent out of the country and distribute them among our own needy popula- tion? Oh, yes, it would have been much better, especially for the said needy population, but what right have the needy to obtrude themselves upon us when we are engaged in playing the glorious game of finance and inter- national commerce? Ellis O. Jones. (© FEMINISTIC OR SUFFRAGISTIC IDEAS ; CARES HAS NEVER BEEN DIVORCED AND HAS Ni “Rich, Fat and Contented” HE Springfield Republican asserts that the members of the Union League Club of New York are rich, fat and contented. Some of them are; perhaps seven or eight per cent. of the membership. In no club anywhere is there a high percentage of rich, fat and contented men. Just a small collection of such persons is all any club can collect at any given time. For they don’t stay collected; they die; and die rather faster in clubs than outside of them, Some men get rich, like Mr. Root; others get fat, like Mr. Taft; not many do both. A few men are rich and contented, and a few are fat and contented, but a clubful of rich, fat and contented men is a delusive rural dream, comicbooks.com