Life, 1915-12-02 · page 95 of 100
Life — December 2, 1915 — page 95: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features a satirical essay titled "Tools" that humorously categorizes tools into two types: "disappearing" and "useless." The author uses exaggerated, personified descriptions to mock how tools frustrate homeowners. Disappearing tools vanish when needed but reappear when unwanted; useless tools are always underfoot and deceive users with false hope (like a screwdriver with a blunt edge that won't grip properly). The satire targets the universal frustration of household maintenance. The page also includes period advertising for the Jeffery automobile and other consumer goods, typical of *Life* magazine's content model. A small anecdote titled "Bragging" appears at bottom—two neighbors bicker competitively about whose father is taller, with a clever punchline involving a hat. This is primarily **satirical commentary on everyday domestic annoyances** rather than political content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
as yet stional annot, wuthor as has frend. ited — riloso- ¢ love ye great her— 1 your back on to re us ture USEFUL GIFTS ARE BEST Tools 'OOLS are of two kinds: disap- _ pearing and useless, ppearing tools are the kind that ays want in an emergency and are never where you think you put them. Useless tools are the kind that are always on hand—getting under your feet, stabbing and forcing themselves upon you, when you can’t possibly use them. They have another offensive trait which I cannot denounce too strongly. They always try to deceive you by making you think you can use them. Such a tool may be a screw- driver with such a blunt and jagged edge that by no possibility can you insert it into the groove of the particu- lar screw you are feverishly trying to manipulate. Yet that screw-driver will keep right on deceiving you with false hopes about itself. Disappearing tools are in reality false to their name. It is true that they invariably disappear when you must have them, But then, on the other hand, they always appear again when you don’t need them. This they claim as a sacred privilege. Are economical— Guaranteed two America’s Standard Automobile at a $1000 Price ‘You can invest your money in a Jeffery of small Ee we ee wert Revigsen The engines materials are of that high-grade character racter whieh ih ives the average owner four or five seasons of service—and the price is standard. deep real leather + Shi one eight, 2750 poures > Motor. Jeffery high-speed igh eficiency = Ignition. Bok magneto - Starting and lighting system, Bijur electric + Equipment, complete + Entire car qyx Jeffery-built. STANDARD SIVEN-PASSENCIR. $1018, without Autiliary Seats, $1000 « THRIT-PASSENGER ROADSTER, $1000 SEDAN (Removable Top) $UOS « JETTERY SIX, $1350. menzee_., EheThomas B. Jeffery Company ferwe! esr Karate Wiemin Main Office and Works » Kenosha, Wisconsin UAT AL — [SIVE HER PEARLS Two close neighbors were in conversa- would cost you $15. We ‘ | | give you the tion. Feat tor 815. Am “Well! said the one, “ any call to be proud; my father’s taller than yours.” “Bet you a shilling he ain't!” was the ree sot” eal FREE TRIAL “ Bet you he is!” said the first young- Pledmeat Red, Cedar Chet ster. “My father can see over the wall ect at the end of the garden. Yours can’t.” “Yes, he can," responded the other, Ww nies New Low Fertory Priees refncnt pri with his hat on."—London Opinion, Pledmont Red Cedar Chest Co. Dept. 3. ‘Statesville, you haven't comicbooks.com